Are You a Heretic?

When Galileo invented the telescope and proved that the earth actually revolved around the sun instead of the opposite his invention was decried as Satanic. People thought the sun went around the earth because of a battle in the Old Testament in which the Israelites prevailed because the prophet commanded the "...Heavens to be still." The sun never went down and the battle was won. Thus, the conclusion was made that the sun went around the earth. Galileo was a devout Catholic and had no intention of leading people astray. He had to beg people to look through his telescope because people thought that the lens must be from Satan and wouldn't even go near the telescope. In 2007 we read the account of Galileo and scoff at those "ignorant people" and wonder how they could be so narrow-minded?

Recently I had a conversation with a well-read and thoughtful woman. When I told her I had used an herb called wormwood to treat intestinal parasites she was appalled! She told me that wormwood was a Satanic herb and that I was lucky I wasn't killed! She referred to its mention in the Bible as her source of information. I could not even begin to convince her otherwise.

I looked up every reference to wormwood in the Bible. Yes, it's there and yes, it's used in reference to punishment from God. However, the Bible Dictionary describes wormwood as a METAPHOR for God's punishment. Wormwood is a nasty herb to taste. It's bitter and not something you would normally eat. God's punishments have definitely proven to be bitter and not something you would seek.

I don't think the Bible was ever meant to be our science book. We have science to help explain the world around us. God, in his wisdom and mercy, gave us the Bible and Book of Mormon to help us know how to properly use that information. Galileo was not a heretic then and I am not a heretic now.

Mother's Day

Women unite! As the mothers of the world we know firsthand the difficulties faced by our children as they try and make their way. We can do something about it. We can provide good and safe homes for our families or for those children with whom we come in contact. We can spend less time worrying about whether or not we're "as good as men" and spend more time becoming "as good as women" can and should be. We can use our innate talents and gifts to create goodness and refuges. We can fight evil and be warriors in a time when it is most needed. The time for weakness is over. The time for denial is over. Women need to reclaim what we have allowed to be taken -- our dignity and our femininity. So, on this Mother's Day I firmly plant my flag in the ground. I hope it waves for all to see. I am here and I am ready and willing to fight for all that is good. I know God will make up for my limitations and that, with Him, I can contribute -- even if it's just defending my own little plot of ground. You can, too. Happy Mother's Day!

Never Say Never

I have a daily schedule. I never thought I would have a daily schedule. I never wanted a daily schedule. My husband has been telling me for years how much I would like a daily schedule. Of course, if he wanted me to do it, it was definitely out (oh my stupid pride).
Recently my kids have been fighting like crazy and I have been feeling even more stressed out than usual. I, notice the I, decided it was time to try something new. I know, how about a daily schedule! What a novel idea! When I told Bret "my" idea he just smiled and tried not to give me the "I told you so" smile which he knows would just send me running in the other direction.
I made a schedule and we started following it Monday. So far so good. I find I don't have to think so much about what we're going to do next. As a homeschooling Mom, it's nice to know where we're going without having to come up with a new plan every day. I think, until I had five children, it was easier to wing things because the chaos was at a 2 instead of a 9.5. Now it's sink or swim. I've always loved the water and am ready to swim. So, I'm ready to fall in with those who have touted the almighty schedule for years. Stephen Covey has a new fan. Never say never because you don't know how the universe will conspire against you.

Guantanamo Shmantanamo

Peck...People who need to find humane yet effective interrogation techniques should take some lessons from kids. Peck...peck... All you would need to do is put one of these terrorists in a confined space with five children...peck... and they're bound to break! If you've ever seen a video of baby birds with their mouths wide open...peck... constantly squawking for Mom, then you get the picture. It's constant pecking. It's not physically painful...peck peck..., but it doesn't stop. Even when you're in the...peck... bathroom, the one place you would expect some privacy, people are pecking at the door...peck... You really find out how much you love your children when, after a day of ...peck... constant pecking, not only are they still alive, but they receive kisses goodnight. Your peck in return. They go to bed with smiles on their faces, and you walk out of the room with a...peck...smile on yours, both parties knowing that in less than ...peck...10 hours the iron will of The Mother is ...peck peck... tested again. Guantanamo Bay aint got nothin' on me!

Nose Balloons

So my 6 year-old finds a condom in my nightstand. She opens the package and brings it to me to question me about it. The conversation went something like this:

What's this Mom?

(pause...pause...pause...In a speed faster than light, my brain thinks of every possible answer and still can't come up with anything good. Do I tell her the truth? It's one of those moments I have never considered and have no idea what to do.) She fills in the stunned silence with...

Oh, I know, you use it for snoring. You put it on your nose and it stops you from snoring! Right?

Before I can say anything, the girl puts it on her nose and presses it tightly. As she does she blows some air out of her nose. The thing blows up like a balloon. I start laughing hysterically. Her eyes get wide and she says...

Cool! Nose balloons! These aren't for snoring! Can I have one? Where do you get them?

She proceeds to blow it up over and over and then, gleefully, skips out of the room, nose balloon in tow, to go show her sisters. Meanwhile, I'm still laughing -- partly because it's funny and partly out of nervousness. What will she say the day she discovers that her beloved nose balloons are something quite different?

21st Century Woman

This will most likely be an ongoing column as I'm trying to discover exactly what a 21st Century Woman is. I recently read an article by a woman talking about why she thinks women feel unfulfilled in their roles. She came to the conclusion that technology has removed women from the systems which helped define them. For example, our great-grandmothers had to have one day set aside for laundry, one for baking, one for sewing, etc... Their lives revolved around what exactly they needed to do to provide for their families. Moreover, they were the ones "in charge" of those sysems. If clothes weren't sewn, everybody went naked. Thus, according to the author, women felt more fulfilled because they were sure of their roles and their importance.
In our time we have washers and dryers, microwave ovens, grocery stores and Old Navy. Everything comes pre-packaged, pre-washed, and pre-cooked. According to the author this is the source of our angst and we would be happier reverting to simpler times in order to connect with the true nurturer inside.
I've been thinking about this a lot and I disagree. I don't think I have to give up technology in order to find fulfillment as a woman. I don't think I need to sew the clothes and grow the food just to be able to define myself as a woman. I think she missed the point. I think women, and men for that matter, are generally unhappy as a result of feeling a loss of control in their lives. We have a grocery store where we can buy the things they have decided to put there for us. We have no idea where most of our food comes from or the process it went through to get there. We send our children away in order to have them educated by someone else. We buy the clothes that somebody else says we should to be "in" with everybody else. We are constantly bombarded by messages from countless sources telling us what we should buy, where we should vacation, who we should vote for, and what we should watch on tv. What do we do ourselves?
As human beings we have an innate desire to be independent. You see this in children. It is offensive to my three year-old when I offer to help her with something she is trying to do on her own. She lets me know that my help is not only not wanted but even the offer was not appreciated. Somewhere we lose that. We forget to ask questions. We forget that we forget to ask questions. In fact, we become afraid to ask questions. We allow ourselves to float along and wonder why we feel an emptiness.
We don't have to give up our cell phones, we just need to THINK about why we have a cell phone. We need to think about what we put into our bodies. We need to think about who we want our children to become. We need to think and not be afraid to be active participants in our own lives. I believe women can find fulfullment by understanding the choices we have and then actively making those choices and acting upon them.

Diapering Without Foreign Oil

As if I weren't considered freakish enough, I've decided to try using cloth diapers on my two youngest children! I actually began looking into the possibility of cloth diapering with my son, but didn't really feel the motivation until I had my baby and realized just how much it costs to buy diapers for two kids! I was looking at spending $80 a month just on diapers! I can think of a lot of things I'd rather do with that money than just buying poop repositories. So, I invested in cloth.
Cloth diapers in the 21st century are not our mother's cloth diapers. There aren't any pins and many of them come in really cute fabrics and have velcro and snaps. In fact, I was overwhelmed by all the choices available! I searched "cloth diapers" and got back an entirely new vocabulary list I had to learn before I could even think of buying any. I had to learn the difference between pre-fold, fitted, pocket, all-in-one, wraps, and doublers. Once I got that down, I made my first purchase. I went with the conventional pre-fold (these are the ones our moms used) and a wrap to cover it. These are by far the cheapest way to go. This way, if one gets ruined I'm not throwing away a $20 diaper. If anyone needs more info on this just let me know.
Anyway, I've been at it for over a week. At first it was hard to figure out where to put the wet diaper while trying to fold a clean diaper, while trying to hold a wiggly butt. Then I got smart and folded all the diapers so I could just grab one and have it ready to go. I've had to do some "dunking" in the toilet, but that wasn't so bad. In fact, my 6 year-old gave it a go one day and did a great job while managing to keep her hands clean!
The laundering of the diapers is relatively easy and kind of fun. They can't go in the dryer or they lose their absorbency -- due to dryer sheets giving them a waterproof residue. I now have a little clothes line outside and my kids have really gotten a kick out of hanging the diapers up to dry. Also, the sun bleaches the diapers and deodorizes them as well. We'll see just how long my kids like to help with the diapers, but, for now, they argue over who gets to hang them up.
It really was a good feeling to walk through Costco without having to stick 2 giant boxes of diapers in my cart. The diaper money will now be diverted to the DISNEYLAND money! Yay! On top of that, the absorbent part of disposable diapers is made with petroleum so I feel like I'm doing my ( teeny tiny) part to decrease our oil dependency -- not to mention decreasing the number of diapers in our landfills. Also, if some sort of disaster happened I would have diapers. I might not have food, but at least my kids' bums will be clean!
So far I really like using cloth diapers. I'm hoping my son will potty train sooner which would be a real bonus. My poor kids! What will their mother put them through next!?