Decorating Tips From a Nine Year-Old

A came up to me and said she had a decorating suggestion which she came up with all by herself. She said, "Mom, you know those funny balls people have in bowls in their houses? You know, the ones that you can't touch or play with and they're made out of funny sticks and things?"

I replied that I did indeed know the balls to which she was referring.

"Well, I think we should make popcorn balls and put them in a bowl on our mantle instead. That way they'll look good, smell good and you can actually do something with them, like eat them."

So, world, if you want to decorate your home in order to please children, utilizing popcorn balls, which would definitely be more affordable and enjoyable, would be the way to go.

Apparently Reptiles Need Reminding...

Tonight, when asked to say the prayer, four year-old J said the following:

"Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Please bless the reptiles at the zoo so they can follow God's rules. Please bless the sacrament, to be safe (from all the people sneezing of course). Please bless Dad to kill the monsters. Bless the troops. Bless the brethren to be strong and brave. Bless those who die. Thank you for our food. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

How cute is that? I would love to go to the zoo tomorrow and see the way in which the reptiles are now following God's rules better because you KNOW the prayer of a four year-old rings loudly in the halls of Heaven. What a kid!

Jimmy Carter -- Mysologist

Last night I found out I'm a racist. According to former President Jimmy Carter, my objections to out-of-control spending, a government takeover of health care, and a lack of willingness to make a decision about Afghanistan while our soldiers are dying, are not due to my personal convictions and beliefs, but can be boiled down to race. I thank the former President for clarifying my beliefs. Here I had the audacity to believe I was actually thinking for myself -- reading columns, listening to interviews, skimming bills, and forming opinions. Apparently, however, I was wrong. It has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact I feel like our country is moving in the wrong direction and that I would like my elected representatives to reflect my beliefs. It is nothing more than my DNA reacting to the DNA of somebody else. Thank goodness for people like Jimmy Carter who can so clearly point this out and make sense of it all. Now I don't have to think anymore. I can just go back to shootin' clay pigeons out the back of my pick-up truck, while pregnant with my upteenth child. That certainly wouldn't be a racist thing to do.

Does this also make me a misogynist because I disagree with Nancy Pelosi? Or perhaps I'm misanthropic (the closest word I could find to "hating one's own people) because I disagree with Harry Reid and his policies in the Senate? Since I'm LDS and so is he, maybe that means I hate my own people.

Wow, thank you President Carter. You saved me from a lot of stress and intellectual strain.

Tena-Syddy

Sydney, once again, is surprising me. Up to now, she has been the "little princess" of our home. She loves anything and everything pink. She actually wants and plays with the dreaded Barbies. She loves to wear dresses and be as girly as can be. And yet, a new side is showing up -- a competitive, athletic side. So far, in her first two soccer games, she has scored a total of 13 goals! Now granted she plays on a small field with just a few girls, but still, the girl in an animal!

At practice yesterday I offered to give the girls a water break. All of them were relieved but Sydney who said, "No! No water break! Let's run to the fence (about 50 yards away) and back!" A few of the girls started to run with her but pooped out and quit. Sydney, however, ran the entire way and, upon returning said, "Let's keep playing!"

Last night she asked me if I wanted her to "win the game" again by scoring lots of goals. When I told her I did, she got this really excited look on her face and could hardly go to sleep because she was so excited to play her game today! It's pretty fun to see this side of her. Who knew?

RamPaige!!!

What I think went through Paige's mind when she woke up Thursday:

Hmmm...sometime today I absolutely want to use Avery's red nail polish. I love it and I will have it. The problem is Mom. I know she won't let me have it because she thinks I'm not big enough. Ha! I draw beautiful pictures on the walls and have even made circles so I don't understand what Mom is thinking! She is going to be a problem though so I'm going to have to think of something.

(laughs deviously) I've got it!!! I will distract Mom by taking the pistachios and putting them all down the kitchen heating vent -- which I just figured out how to take off!!! Perfect!!! She'll be so busy trying to get those darn things out of there that she won't notice me climb up the shelf, get the polish and sneak into her room to make myself look beautiful!

Of course, now that I think about it, I don't just want to paint my nails, the color is too pretty! I absolutely need to cover, and I mean cover, my hands and feet and maybe my lower legs for good measure. Red is soooo my color and I really need to play it up. Come to think of it, Cooper's bed could use a little decoration so I'll just add some there, too. And maybe a little on Mom's walls because I know she likes red, too.

It's going to be a great day! Can't wait to get started!

Mayan Adventure Here We Come!

After many mornings (and evenings, and nights and whatever time worked best) of "reading" the Book of Mormon with the kids -- and I use the term reading loosely -- we finally finished it, again, and we're going to celebrate by going to the Mayan Adventure restaurant tomorrow! However, I was just looking at the menu and realized the prices have changed since we were last there -- ouch -- but it will be worth it.

I don't know how much the kids got as far as plot, story line, deep inspiration, etc... but I do know that they were, in fact, paying attention most of the time. I know that because sometimes in the middle of a story or verse I would simply say, "And, he died. The end." Heads would pop up with confused looks on their faces and question what I had just said. Of course, some story lines were more interesting than others -- Ammon cutting off Lamanite arms with a sword was definitely a story talked about for awhile by my son. Also, the kids thought Abinadi's courage in standing down the wicked King Noah was amazing. And they couldn't believe the Jaredites could be so full of hate as to completely wipe out their entire civilization and wondered how anybody could do that!

Most reading time, however, consisted of us reading while Paige and/or Jack was crying or someone's dirty diaper needed changing, or big girls poking each other and me saying, in a not so nice voice, "Hey! We're trying to read the scriptures here so knock it off!" But, for those times when it was somewhat quiet and the story could come through or some great scriptural thought could be talked about, it was great. I felt like I came to understand the Book of Mormon even that much better and that my kids added a little more to their testimony foundation. I even think they liked it. In fact, when we reached the end we kind of looked at each other like, "Now what do we do?"

This morning we decided to embark on The New Testament while interjecting verses from the Book of Mormon that coincide with what we're reading. The kids are already looking forward to hitting a Greek restaurant upon completion. Can anybody say, "Cheap Gyros here we come!"

A Challenge for the Verbose

I am currently in a classics study group which has the end goal of establishing an academy for kids ages 12-18. We are reading and writing and trying to hone our study skills in order to teach the kids the same skills.

Our most recent book discussion was on Les Miserables. If you've never read the book, I encourage you to take six months (yes, I said six months) and read it. It's 1100 pages of beauty, depth, description (if I ever get to Paris, I'm going to visit the sewers), triumph, defeat, tragedy, generosity, and every other human emotion possible. Our discussion leader challenged us to write ONE sentence which summed up the entire book! She talked about how easy it is to have an abstract "idea" of what a book is about, but how much more difficult to actually think about what a book and then to articulate it in writing. I'm still working on my sentence, but so far I have:

Les Miserables is a story about justice and mercy and the difference an individual can make in the lives of others by choosing to be merciful or just.

My challenge to you is to take a book you have just finished or are very familiar with and do the same thing. I would love it if you would post your books and sentences here.

A Five Year-old and Three Year-Old Discuss Marriage

I overheard this conversation between my son and daughter as we were driving one day:

(Five year-old girl) "When I grow up I'm going to be a Mom and an Artist because I am really good at coloring. What are you going to be when you grow up?"

(Three year-old boy) "A cowboy with a REAL gun so I can shoot bad guys."

"Don't you want to get married?"

"No!"

"Well, don't you want to be a Dad like Daddy and have kids?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to get married!" (a pause) "What is 'get married'?"

"It's when you have a wife and have kids."

"Oh. Well, can I have a gun?"

"Yeah, but only if you shoot bad guys."

"Ok, then I'll get married."

"Good. Then you can buy my pictures."

It was so cute just to listen to them try to figure this whole thing out. It was also interesting to hear the difference between the girl (already relationship oriented) and the boy (action oriented). Anyone who says boys and girls aren't different, but that we just socialize them to be that way has never had a son and daughter. Men and women are different from the start and I'm grateful for it.