The Birth of a Mother

One week ago today, I watched a new mother be born. As she labored, without medication, for 24 HOURS, then with an epidural for another 8, and then pushed for 2 hors, I watched as she fought desperately to overcome last minute self-doubt and fear of the unknown. Her body, mind and spirit were straining to come together in order to allow the birth process to happen. I could almost physically see the struggle pass through her like waves, mimicking the contractions themselves.
First, there was staunch determination to go through the birth process unmedicated in order to fully "experience" birth and the wonders that come with it. Coupled with that fierce determination was absolute terror which would wash across her face and practically paralyze her with each contraction. She was already learning the lessons all mothers feel when they have to sit at the bedside of their sick child, determined to stay awake all night if necessary, experiencing fear at the prospect of their child's future.
Next, I watched with relief as she realized her own limitations and that of her body's and accepted an epidural. She had to go through the mental turmoil of questioning herself and her decision, and wondering if she could still be considered "tough" or "strong enough." What mother doesn't question that constantly? "If I had just..." "Would it have made a difference if...?" She was required to let go of whatever control she thought she had over the situation and allow the process to happen. This is a lesson experienced over and over in motherhood.
Last came the true work- that of releasing her baby into the world. Although completely exhausted, she had to dig deep within herself and find the strength to do for her son what he could not do for himself. She had to push past the limits of her own mind and body and find a new, deeper place--that of mother -- and she did. It was a beautifully painful thing to witness. Allowing our babies to go out into the world is a task which, thankfully, takes about 20 years to complete, but starts with that first great effort.
She is already a fantastic mother. Just as her birth story was unique, so her mothering will be also. She will bring new understanding and depth which will add strength and beauty to the millions of other women who call themselves mother. I was proud and honored to be witness to a birth of a new mother.
I love you sis!