Re"cooper"ating (Finally)

Monday, June 2, little Cooper Joe made his way into this world. The short version is: after 4 hours of laboring, mostly in the tub in my room, he was born at 11:54 p.m. weighing in at 8 lbs. 8 oz. and was 22 inches long. I was surrounded by my husband, who caught the baby, my Mom switching between holding my hand and putting cold rags on my face, my sister who ended up holding my hand, and my daughter who cut the cord. Not to mention the midwives of course. It was beautiful. It was a community.

The long version is:

Each of my babies seems to think that earth time is the same as eternal time; meaning, there is no "time." Well, I'm here on earth and I live by a schedule. My due date, Friday May 30, came and went without any fanfare and I tried to be patient. I really tried. By Monday, however, it was time to introduce Cooper to the reality called "earth time." My kids were going out of town and my midwife was also, so it was time to take matters into my own hands.

I called Suzanne Smith (of Better Birth LLC), my midwife, and went to her office for a little swishing and swirling of the membranes. It's not the most comfortable experience, but it only lasts a minute and it's usually enough to get me going. This time was no exception. I headed home and relaxed with my kids for awhile with surges coming about every 10 to 20 minutes. Bret headed home from work and began getting everything "prepped." He rearranged our room to make more space for the tub and people. He made food. He cleaned all the pots and pans because I normally need more hot water for the tub and he heats water on the stove.

Finally, around 7:00 p.m. things began to pick up. The surges were getting stronger and a little closer together. I had the girls rub some essential oils on my shoulders and neck and tickle my back for a while. They were great labor support!

At 8:00 we called Suzanne to have her come and made sure everyone else was in their places. My Mom and my sister were there as well as two other midwives. It got really hot in my room due to all the water being boiled and everyone was sweating (except for me) and kept taking turn leaving the room to cool off. The baby was posterior for most of my labor (he was turned so his face was facing my spine) so my back hurt SOOOO bad. Bret had to keep pressure on my lower back for a long time just so I could get any kind of relief. I rocked on my hands and knees trying to get the baby to turn and pleaded with him, in a nice, motherly way, to please turn. Eventually, he did and I felt much better.

Around 11:00 p.m. the girls decided they were too tired to wait any longer so they headed off to bed with instructions to wake them once the baby was born. I was barely at 8 centimeters but I decided to have Suzanne break my bag of water in order to speed things up. For me, once my bag breaks, the baby usually comes right out. This time was no exception. As soon as my water was broken transition surges immediately commenced. There is sure a difference in intensity between active labor and transition. Wow! I tried to stay as relaxed and focused as possible, but it was hard to remain calm knowing my baby was almost here and this was almost over! About two minutes later, I felt the need to start bearing down and got on my hands and knees (the position I've been in the last three deliveries). I could feel the baby moving down and could tell his head was crowning. Bret and Camille (one of the other midwives) got ready and, as I was holding my sister's hand, I let his head come out. Relief point number 1. About 30 seconds later, I felt another surge and I delivered the rest of his beautiful little body. There is such an unbelievable amount of relief and euphoria at that moment it's indescribable. In fact, I was so relieved I just laid my head down on the side of the tub and forgot, for a split second, I even had a baby! That was until I head, "Alisha! Get your baby!" They were passing him under my legs so I could hold him!

His right hand had been up by his face during delivery so he kept there on his little face. He was so beautiful and healthy and squishy and lovely! He just sat there with me in the water cuddling and was so calm. Everyone ooohed and ahhhed over him (of course)! My oldest daughter had come back in just before he was delivered so she, once again, cut his cord and proceeded to help with checking him over. My second daughter also woke up and was able to see her new brother just minutes after he was born.

It was such a beautiful, earthy, and spiritual experience. The veil was parted and a new life made its way into the world. During those last moments I always, literally, feel myself move out of the way to make a path for this new person. The baby, who is really a billion-year-old spirit, and I work together, intensely, those last few moments to bring this miracle to pass.

Bret was incredible -- again. He was totally involved the entire time. When I asked for something he did whatever needed to be done immediately. Even though it was an oven in my room, he did not complain and he stayed incredibly calm. We worked together so well this time. I just love him and I love having these experiences with him. I love birthing our baby into his waiting arms.

My Mom was also great this time! Last time she was more of an observer, but this time she was an active participant. She got water ready, let me squeeze the heck out of her hand, and held an icy cloth on my forehead for as long as I needed her to. She seemed to know just when to help and when to back away. It was really neat to have her as involved this time.

Of course I have to acknowledge my daughters -- especially my oldest who is probably a midwife in training -- for their ability to be mature beyond their years in these moments. They know how to be quiet and do what needs to be done when things are asked of them. I can't imagine what it would be like to watch your mother delivering a baby at the ages of 8 and 10, but I'm sure glad I am able to share it with them.

Lastly, I'm really glad my sister was able to be there. It was another "women" moment and, at the end, I was holding her hand as I was delivering ( I didn't know my Mom's hand had been replaced by her hand). Everybody needs a sister like mine.

Now, two weeks after, I look back and shake my head in wonder and fascination at what occurred right here in my little house. A miracle. A beautiful miracle. I thank God for the opportunity to be a mother and am so grateful for the healthy pregnancies, straightforward deliveries, and six healthy, incredible children. I am truly blessed.