A Worthy Mormon Hippie

Traditional Marriage for Ants

2010-03-31T21:42:00.000-07:00

So, J is truly on one this week. Today we discovered an ant wandering in our kitchen. Needless to say it was a MAJOR source of excitement and entertainment -- poor ant. I'm sure it was just trying to make its way across the vast wilderness of tile when it was encountered by a 4 year-old and 3 year-old. Let's just say, the end was not pretty.

After the demise of said ant, my son asked what kind of ant it was? I told him it was a queen because it had wings. Of course we then embarked on a discussion of queen ants and how come there aren't king ants, and how is it the queens can lay eggs if they're not married to king ants?

I tried to explain that ants are different from people and they do not live by the "marriage is between one man and one woman" rule. With an incredulous look upon his face, J said, "No, that's not true Mom because I have seen teeny tiny temples for ants!"

Do you think in ant temples the queens are reprimanded for treating their males as nothing more than "workers" to be used and discarded at will? Maybe PETA should look into this.

Hello, I'm God

2010-03-28T22:02:00.001-07:00

Having a four year-old son is a little bit like living with someone with multiple personality disorder. They are constantly trying out new identities, and it can be difficult to keep up. Case in point, a while ago at breakfast I had the following conversation:

(The breakfast table was loud, as usual, so it made it difficult to hear what was being said at first)

Son: (Looking at me, but speaking with a mouthful of cereal) "I'm God"

Me: (Not knowing if I heard correctly, since it's not one of the usual Superheroes he usually claims to be.) "Who?"

Son: "You know, God. That dude who lives up in Heaven!"

I tried to maintain my composure in order to further the conversation, but I had to smile at God being referred to as, "that dude."

Me: "Okay, well what does that mean? What does God do?"

Son: "You know, He reminds people He loves them."

Out of the mouth of babes. What more can I say? Maybe we should all pretend to be God!

Decorating Tips From a Nine Year-Old

2009-11-25T20:49:00.001-08:00

A came up to me and said she had a decorating suggestion which she came up with all by herself. She said, "Mom, you know those funny balls people have in bowls in their houses? You know, the ones that you can't touch or play with and they're made out of funny sticks and things?"

I replied that I did indeed know the balls to which she was referring.

"Well, I think we should make popcorn balls and put them in a bowl on our mantle instead. That way they'll look good, smell good and you can actually do something with them, like eat them."

So, world, if you want to decorate your home in order to please children, utilizing popcorn balls, which would definitely be more affordable and enjoyable, would be the way to go.

Apparently Reptiles Need Reminding...

2009-11-25T20:43:00.000-08:00

Tonight, when asked to say the prayer, four year-old J said the following:

"Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Please bless the reptiles at the zoo so they can follow God's rules. Please bless the sacrament, to be safe (from all the people sneezing of course). Please bless Dad to kill the monsters. Bless the troops. Bless the brethren to be strong and brave. Bless those who die. Thank you for our food. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

How cute is that? I would love to go to the zoo tomorrow and see the way in which the reptiles are now following God's rules better because you KNOW the prayer of a four year-old rings loudly in the halls of Heaven. What a kid!

Jimmy Carter -- Mysologist

2009-09-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

Last night I found out I'm a racist. According to former President Jimmy Carter, my objections to out-of-control spending, a government takeover of health care, and a lack of willingness to make a decision about Afghanistan while our soldiers are dying, are not due to my personal convictions and beliefs, but can be boiled down to race. I thank the former President for clarifying my beliefs. Here I had the audacity to believe I was actually thinking for myself -- reading columns, listening to interviews, skimming bills, and forming opinions. Apparently, however, I was wrong. It has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact I feel like our country is moving in the wrong direction and that I would like my elected representatives to reflect my beliefs. It is nothing more than my DNA reacting to the DNA of somebody else. Thank goodness for people like Jimmy Carter who can so clearly point this out and make sense of it all. Now I don't have to think anymore. I can just go back to shootin' clay pigeons out the back of my pick-up truck, while pregnant with my upteenth child. That certainly wouldn't be a racist thing to do.

Does this also make me a misogynist because I disagree with Nancy Pelosi? Or perhaps I'm misanthropic (the closest word I could find to "hating one's own people) because I disagree with Harry Reid and his policies in the Senate? Since I'm LDS and so is he, maybe that means I hate my own people.

Wow, thank you President Carter. You saved me from a lot of stress and intellectual strain.

Tena-Syddy

2009-09-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

Sydney, once again, is surprising me. Up to now, she has been the "little princess" of our home. She loves anything and everything pink. She actually wants and plays with the dreaded Barbies. She loves to wear dresses and be as girly as can be. And yet, a new side is showing up -- a competitive, athletic side. So far, in her first two soccer games, she has scored a total of 13 goals! Now granted she plays on a small field with just a few girls, but still, the girl in an animal!

At practice yesterday I offered to give the girls a water break. All of them were relieved but Sydney who said, "No! No water break! Let's run to the fence (about 50 yards away) and back!" A few of the girls started to run with her but pooped out and quit. Sydney, however, ran the entire way and, upon returning said, "Let's keep playing!"

Last night she asked me if I wanted her to "win the game" again by scoring lots of goals. When I told her I did, she got this really excited look on her face and could hardly go to sleep because she was so excited to play her game today! It's pretty fun to see this side of her. Who knew?

RamPaige!!!

2009-03-27T21:11:00.000-07:00

What I think went through Paige's mind when she woke up Thursday:

Hmmm...sometime today I absolutely want to use Avery's red nail polish. I love it and I will have it. The problem is Mom. I know she won't let me have it because she thinks I'm not big enough. Ha! I draw beautiful pictures on the walls and have even made circles so I don't understand what Mom is thinking! She is going to be a problem though so I'm going to have to think of something.

(laughs deviously) I've got it!!! I will distract Mom by taking the pistachios and putting them all down the kitchen heating vent -- which I just figured out how to take off!!! Perfect!!! She'll be so busy trying to get those darn things out of there that she won't notice me climb up the shelf, get the polish and sneak into her room to make myself look beautiful!

Of course, now that I think about it, I don't just want to paint my nails, the color is too pretty! I absolutely need to cover, and I mean cover, my hands and feet and maybe my lower legs for good measure. Red is soooo my color and I really need to play it up. Come to think of it, Cooper's bed could use a little decoration so I'll just add some there, too. And maybe a little on Mom's walls because I know she likes red, too.

It's going to be a great day! Can't wait to get started!

Mayan Adventure Here We Come!

2009-03-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

After many mornings (and evenings, and nights and whatever time worked best) of "reading" the Book of Mormon with the kids -- and I use the term reading loosely -- we finally finished it, again, and we're going to celebrate by going to the Mayan Adventure restaurant tomorrow! However, I was just looking at the menu and realized the prices have changed since we were last there -- ouch -- but it will be worth it.

I don't know how much the kids got as far as plot, story line, deep inspiration, etc... but I do know that they were, in fact, paying attention most of the time. I know that because sometimes in the middle of a story or verse I would simply say, "And, he died. The end." Heads would pop up with confused looks on their faces and question what I had just said. Of course, some story lines were more interesting than others -- Ammon cutting off Lamanite arms with a sword was definitely a story talked about for awhile by my son. Also, the kids thought Abinadi's courage in standing down the wicked King Noah was amazing. And they couldn't believe the Jaredites could be so full of hate as to completely wipe out their entire civilization and wondered how anybody could do that!

Most reading time, however, consisted of us reading while Paige and/or Jack was crying or someone's dirty diaper needed changing, or big girls poking each other and me saying, in a not so nice voice, "Hey! We're trying to read the scriptures here so knock it off!" But, for those times when it was somewhat quiet and the story could come through or some great scriptural thought could be talked about, it was great. I felt like I came to understand the Book of Mormon even that much better and that my kids added a little more to their testimony foundation. I even think they liked it. In fact, when we reached the end we kind of looked at each other like, "Now what do we do?"

This morning we decided to embark on The New Testament while interjecting verses from the Book of Mormon that coincide with what we're reading. The kids are already looking forward to hitting a Greek restaurant upon completion. Can anybody say, "Cheap Gyros here we come!"

A Challenge for the Verbose

2009-02-08T21:34:00.000-08:00

I am currently in a classics study group which has the end goal of establishing an academy for kids ages 12-18. We are reading and writing and trying to hone our study skills in order to teach the kids the same skills.

Our most recent book discussion was on Les Miserables. If you've never read the book, I encourage you to take six months (yes, I said six months) and read it. It's 1100 pages of beauty, depth, description (if I ever get to Paris, I'm going to visit the sewers), triumph, defeat, tragedy, generosity, and every other human emotion possible. Our discussion leader challenged us to write ONE sentence which summed up the entire book! She talked about how easy it is to have an abstract "idea" of what a book is about, but how much more difficult to actually think about what a book and then to articulate it in writing. I'm still working on my sentence, but so far I have:

Les Miserables is a story about justice and mercy and the difference an individual can make in the lives of others by choosing to be merciful or just.

My challenge to you is to take a book you have just finished or are very familiar with and do the same thing. I would love it if you would post your books and sentences here.

A Five Year-old and Three Year-Old Discuss Marriage

2009-01-23T21:54:00.000-08:00

I overheard this conversation between my son and daughter as we were driving one day:

(Five year-old girl) "When I grow up I'm going to be a Mom and an Artist because I am really good at coloring. What are you going to be when you grow up?"

(Three year-old boy) "A cowboy with a REAL gun so I can shoot bad guys."

"Don't you want to get married?"

"No!"

"Well, don't you want to be a Dad like Daddy and have kids?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to get married!" (a pause) "What is 'get married'?"

"It's when you have a wife and have kids."

"Oh. Well, can I have a gun?"

"Yeah, but only if you shoot bad guys."

"Ok, then I'll get married."

"Good. Then you can buy my pictures."

It was so cute just to listen to them try to figure this whole thing out. It was also interesting to hear the difference between the girl (already relationship oriented) and the boy (action oriented). Anyone who says boys and girls aren't different, but that we just socialize them to be that way has never had a son and daughter. Men and women are different from the start and I'm grateful for it.

The Lehi and Sariah Family: The Story of Us All

2008-11-29T17:13:00.000-08:00

The kids and I are coming to the end of the Book of Mormon once again. Together we've crossed the ocean, fought battles, buried weapons of war, witnessed the coming of the Savior, and watched as an entire civilization destroyed itself. Truly an epic story, and one I'm so grateful to know about.

However, this means we will be starting, from the beginning, again. We will once again immerse ourselves in the troubles, triumphs, and tribulations of Brother and Sister Lehi and Family. They could be the "family next door." He's a successful businessman and she's an upstanding mother trying her best to raise her children in difficult times. When Lehi receives the inspiration that it is time to "leave the world," he faces incredible opposition, even from within his own family. His sons are at times righteous, judgmental, divisive, loyal, faithful, full of hate, worldly, etc... as they try and follow their parents on their quest to follow the Lord's instructions. Even Lehi and Sariah have their moments of triumph and failure which is written down for millions of us to read about. I don't know about you, but I'm glad my failings aren't etched in gold for the world to read.

One of the most famous stories in church history is how Joseph Smith lent his good friend, Martin Harris, the first 110 pages of the translated Book of Mormon so Mr. Harris's wife could see them. Although the Lord had warned Joseph against this course of action, Joseph chose to go ahead. The pages were lost and the Lord forbade the re-translation of the work. Thus, the overall order of the book was changed moving 1 Nephi to it's place of prominence as the first book in the Book of Mormon.

Looking ahead to those who would be reading this book, it was clearly an act of wisdom to put the story of this family first. We all have the struggles they do, though maybe without some of the more dramatic elements. The part I find the most fascinating is how many times people read 1 Nephi, over and over, because they "resolve" to read their scriptures again, and of course, start at the beginning. There are all sorts of reasons why 1 Nephi is read and re-read, but I think there is great purpose in the placement of this story. Heavenly Father knew we wouldn't be perfect scriptorians, spending all our time in study, and therefore, placed this story first so it, at least, would be read.

In fact, I think we can find ourselves in every single one of the characters at different times of our lives. The faith of Lehi, the hope of Sariah and their sadness as they watch people they love make terrible choices. The courage and leadership of Nephi who spends some time later in life crying for those he, perhaps, pushed away by the zealousness of his youth. The loyalty of Sam who doesn't earn great amounts of glory, but just quietly goes about trying to obey, but perhaps didn't do his part to help mend the rift among his brothers. And then there's Ishmael and his family, but that's another post for another time.

The Lehi Family saga is classic in its story and timeless in its truth. Although I'm glad we made it all the way through, I'm looking forward to heading out into the dessert again as they make their way to their "promised land" helping me make my way toward mine.

Another Weekly Round-Up

2008-11-16T22:17:00.000-08:00

Avery asked me if I thought she should find a sneaky way to get a boy's email she thinks is cute. In my shock I told her, "No way!" and then calmed myself down enough to have a rational conversation with her about it. I think I was able to make her see that she should wait longer before doing stuff like that. She also wore a little bit of eyeliner to church today! Am I ready for this?

Addison has a real talent for playing musical instruments by ear. Her Grandpa Elvin gave her his harmonica and she has been figuring out all sorts of songs on it! I can't even come close to that! She started figuring out how to play the soundtrack to Pride and Prejudice on the piano the other day. However, as a result, she thinks she doesn't need piano lessons anymore. I'm trying to tell her she still needs to learn how to read music so she doesn't always have to wait to hear a piece before being able to play it. Any suggestions?

Sydney learned how to braid he own hair and put her own pigtails in for church today. She is my most independent kid by far.

Jack had the "binky fairy" drop by, which he wasn't too thrilled about. The binky fairy gave him a cool fake aquarium which lights up and the fish swim across. It serendipitously showed up in a D.I. pile and was just what the "fairy" had been looking for. We're on day 4 and it's going better than I thought it would.

Jack and I were talking about the movie "Chicken Little" and he asked me if he could watch "Chicken Big" instead. :)

Paige's latest new phrase is, "two minutes" which sounds more like "ooo inits" and is her answer for things like having to clean up or having to go somewhere. She wants two more minutes.

Super Cooper started eating mashed bananas this week. He seems to like them. I can't believe he is old enough!

The Law of Attraction as it applies to Mothers

2008-11-14T11:29:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been studying laws of Physics, one of which has to do with attraction, and have observed a subset of laws. These laws seem to primarily relate to mothers, which makes me wonder if becoming a mother introduces an entirely new set of laws? Anyway, the law is this:

A mother with a phone to her ear attracts all the children in the house who must begin fighting within a two foot radius. This law also seems to apply to the mother using the bathroom as well.

Anyone who has called me recently has been the unlucky observer of this law in action. Sorry everybody!

So Many Questions, So Little Time...

2008-11-05T20:47:00.000-08:00

Recently I have begun writing on a large piece of paper in my kitchen the random questions my kids ask, such as how old George Washington was when he died, so I won't forget to research them when I have the time.

My oldest daughter asked this question: If the three main colors are red, yellow and blue and all colors are made from those colors, how do you make "white," And, more specifically, how do you make white paint?

Well, today we began our research and here is where it led us:

White pigment can only be made from plants or chemicals.

Which led to:

What are chemicals?

We ended up reading about titanium dioxide which is the main component in white pigment because it naturally blocks sunlight -- a most useful ingredient for sunscreens which is why sunscreen tends to be WHITE!

Which led to:

What is titanium dioxide?

A mineral

What is a mineral?

Which led to an entire discussion on the periodic table, atoms, and eventually electrons and neutrons. I then realized I don't know very much on the subject and I got really excited about the periodic table and I want to go to the store tomorrow and buy a bunch of styrofoam balls and construct giant atoms. My daughter decided she wants to know more about the atomic bomb and how it works.

We then looked outside and noticed the snow -- it's white. However, since snow is not made from a plant or chemical it has an entirely different reason for being white! Snowflakes are transparent. But because they have an irregular shape, the light reflects, causing snow to look white! I love this stuff!

When we were through, I asked my daughter if she realized we had been learning "science" because, recently, she has been complaining about how she doesn't like science. She looked at me with all this new wonder in her eyes and said, "Oh yeah, I forgot that I don't like science. Hmmm.... Maybe I do like science!"

All that from one little question. No textbooks, just fun exploration. I can't WAIT for the next question and for the new discoveries waiting for me to find them.

Weekly Round-Up

2008-10-26T22:20:00.000-07:00

My parents are always asking me if I am writing down the funny things my kids do. I'd like to say I am, but I'm not. So, as of today, each Sunday I'm going to try and jot down a few of the highlights from the week. It's not much, but it's something:

Sydney lost her first tooth while chewing on a rubber worm at Grandma Edie's annual Halloween party. Of course the tooth fairy did not come and owes her a "note" as well as some cash.

Paige painted herself with sour cream, tried to clean the toilet with a roll of toilet paper, and puts everything she can down her undershirt where it lodges, uncomfortably, in the top of her diaper. Tonight we found a yellow crayon, a small "people" and many pieces of chicken and rice. Yum

Avery dressed as a "rock star" for the Halloween party and ended up looking like she was ready to hit the town. She looked fabulous -- too fabulous.

Addison finished reading Freckle Juice, her first longer book. She decided she wants to be a doctor and a Mom when she grows up.

Jack will only wear his tractor pajamas to bed and has been unrolling all my rolls of wrapping paper in order to get to the cardboard "sword".

Cooper discovered his tongue and sticks it out of his mouth constantly. He is currently slightly above the top of the growth charts.

I have to write a paper this week for my class. Any ideas?

The Birth of a Mother

2008-10-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

One week ago today, I watched a new mother be born. As she labored, without medication, for 24 HOURS, then with an epidural for another 8, and then pushed for 2 hors, I watched as she fought desperately to overcome last minute self-doubt and fear of the unknown. Her body, mind and spirit were straining to come together in order to allow the birth process to happen. I could almost physically see the struggle pass through her like waves, mimicking the contractions themselves.
First, there was staunch determination to go through the birth process unmedicated in order to fully "experience" birth and the wonders that come with it. Coupled with that fierce determination was absolute terror which would wash across her face and practically paralyze her with each contraction. She was already learning the lessons all mothers feel when they have to sit at the bedside of their sick child, determined to stay awake all night if necessary, experiencing fear at the prospect of their child's future.
Next, I watched with relief as she realized her own limitations and that of her body's and accepted an epidural. She had to go through the mental turmoil of questioning herself and her decision, and wondering if she could still be considered "tough" or "strong enough." What mother doesn't question that constantly? "If I had just..." "Would it have made a difference if...?" She was required to let go of whatever control she thought she had over the situation and allow the process to happen. This is a lesson experienced over and over in motherhood.
Last came the true work- that of releasing her baby into the world. Although completely exhausted, she had to dig deep within herself and find the strength to do for her son what he could not do for himself. She had to push past the limits of her own mind and body and find a new, deeper place--that of mother -- and she did. It was a beautifully painful thing to witness. Allowing our babies to go out into the world is a task which, thankfully, takes about 20 years to complete, but starts with that first great effort.
She is already a fantastic mother. Just as her birth story was unique, so her mothering will be also. She will bring new understanding and depth which will add strength and beauty to the millions of other women who call themselves mother. I was proud and honored to be witness to a birth of a new mother.
I love you sis!

Lessons From a Mini-Van

2008-10-17T21:39:00.000-07:00

Freedom is a difficult concept. We all say we want it, but do we really? I think we all want freedom as long as everybody plays by the rules, but as soon as someone breaks a rule, we're ready to yank our freedoms away. I had an experience with my kids the other which brought this into perspective for me.
All God had to do to teach me little lessons in patience each day was to make me have to pile six children into a mini-van. Due to the space constrictions, it's not too long before somebody has "touched" somebody else, or looked out "their" window, or "breathed" on someone, etc... Sometimes, as was the case the other day,a full on hair-pulling, pinching, pushing fight breaks out and intervention is required.
I was about 1/3 of a mile away from home when one of these occurred so I did the stereotypical thing and pulled that little van right over, got out, came around to the side, yanked the door open and pulled the two offenders out. Then I did the un-stereotypical thing and walked back around the driver's side, got in and started to pull away, just so I could see the looks on their faces. It was totally worth it and allowed me to cool down enough to think about what I was really going to do. I wanted to send a clear message because I was tired of the whole "don't make me pull this car over" routine. I then stopped the van, rolled down the window and told them to start walking. They were going to walk the rest of the way home. They looked at me like I couldn't possibly be serious. I "seriously" rolled the window back up and drove up ahead about 100 yards and waited. It took about a minute for them to realize I wasn't coming back, so they started walking. Every time they got close to the van, I would pull ahead another 50 yards until we reached our street. Since then I have had fewer disruptions because they know they may end up walking again.
My thoughts during this whole thing, however, were centered on who was observing this and wondering why these children were walking by themselves, during the middle of the day, along a busy road, and deciding they should call the police. I was just waiting for CPS to show up when I realized how much we have limited our freedom to parent how we see fit. I wasn't doing anything abusive or dangerous. I was trying to teach my children a lesson by using natural consequences and in a way that, I hoped, would be really effective instead of just more threats. We've become so judgmental and intrusive into everybody's lives that we've forgotten there are many ways to live and parent.
Freedom means allowing some bad things to go on. With freedom comes the possibility of wrong choices and hurtful actions. Obviously I would never want to see a child intentionally hurt or neglected in any way and I would kick the crap out of anybody I saw participating in such an activity, but I'm not ready to live in a "Big Brother" society for the sake of preventing any deviance from the prescribed path. However, I think we've become lulled into this false sense of "freedom" by listening to all the "experts" telling us what to do, think, wear, drive, eat, etc... We need to wake up and reclaim our true freedom before it is too late. If that sounds a little revolutionary, maybe it is.

Happy Birthday Peaches!

2008-08-31T20:20:00.001-07:00

After the birth of two healthy daughters, I experienced two devastating miscarriages. If you know me, you know I don't like feeling like I can't do something, so I was absolutely determined to get pregnant and carry a healthy baby come what may. Ten weeks into yet another pregnancy, I was cleaning my grandparents house when I felt a sudden cramping and a whoosh. I ran to the bathroom and couldn't believe what was happening -- another miscarriage. My cute Grandma tried to help me as best as she could by providing what she had at the time -- Depends Undergarments and words of comfort but I was shocked and angry at having had to experience this again and starting to wonder what was wrong. I called my midwife and made an appointment to try and decipher the problem.

A week passed and finally it was time for my appointment. I was really upset. Not only because of the miscarriage, but I was still nauseated and feeling pregnant. I didn't know the universe could be so cruel as to make me continue to feel crappy while not being pregnant. When I told my midwife how I was feeling she suggested an ultrasound just to make sure everything had been cleared out. I didn't even want to look at the screen and view my empty uterus, but I was compelled to. And there, to our complete surprise, was a baby! A perfectly healthy looking and growing baby! I couldn't believe it! My midwife thought I must've been carrying twins and miscarried the other one. I believe Sydney had been trying to come and wasn't taking any chances, so two bodies were created and she picked the healthier of the two and the other body was discarded. The universe had been merciful and I proceeded to have a pleasant, healthy pregnancy.

Eight months later, and the most pleasant of all my pregnancies, Sydney Alisha was born August 31, weighing 9 lbs 2 ounces. She was so big she broke her collarbone upon delivery but she healed well and didn't seem to be bothered by it. She also had two knots in her umbilical cord which, according to my midwife, can cause death in an infant if they tighten during delivery. Her delivery was fast and furious because she must have known she just needed to get out of there before anything happened with those knots. Aside from that, her delivery was relatively easy and was the first time I didn't have to deal with stitches afterward so I felt GREAT!!! Angels were continuing to watch over her and me.

I consider her my miracle baby. Heavenly Father had sent me another beautiful girl who loved to smile at everybody. Her disposition was so sweet we started calling her "Peaches" right from the start. She loves anything pink, still smiles at everybody constantly, is extremely articulate and wants to be an artist when she grows up. I think she has a lot of my Grandma Foo in her, who died the year Syd was born. In fact, sometimes I wonder if my Grandma just found a way to turn around and come right back.

After Avery and Addison, I didn't know what more a third girl could possibly bring to the table. Well, Sydney is wonderfully unique and adds so much to our family that I can't imagine not having her. I love you Sis! Happy 5th Birthday!

He Could Sell Popsicles to an Eskimo

2008-07-28T21:58:00.000-07:00

I have to give a virtual high-five to my terrific husband who landed a new job within Fidelity Investments! Forty people, most of whom have been with Fidelity longer than Bret, applied for a position for which there were only FOUR slots available. Not only did Bret get the position but he was told he "blew the interviewers away" during his interview!

Bret is a very charming guy and genuinely enjoys talking with people. He is truly interested in what they have to say and is good at drawing them out. This new position involves a lot more sales and I know he'll do a fantastic job. Heck, he charmed me into marrying him and look what I prize I am :)

Anyway, way to go babe! Your family is proud of you!

I Think I've Found "The One"

2008-07-27T09:06:00.000-07:00

I think I have finally found a Pediatrician/Family Practice doctor with whom I will be for eternity! My personal wellness philosophy includes a good mixture of western and eastern medicine. I'm all for antibiotics -- when they are absolutely necessary. I'm all for hospitals -- when they are absolutely necessary. However, I think there is so much that can be done to actually heal the body instead of just treating a symptom and I think that's where eastern/alternative medicine, such as homeopathy, comes in.

I've had a difficult time finding a doctor who is comfortable with both aspects. Usually they're one or the other and won't really discuss the other side. Well, two weeks ago that all changed for me. I met Diane Farley-Jones MD AND certified Homeopathic and her husband Steven Jones NP at their clinic in Lehi and felt like I didn't have to hide anymore. I could actually discuss my feelings and questions concerning vaccines, homeopathics, nutrition, etc... The doctor didn't even wince when I mentioned home birth, homeschooling and noticed my son was uncircumcised. I could just be myself.

If anyone has been looking for a doctor who doesn't seem to have a God-complex and is willing and wanting to discuss all options and is extremely knowledgeable in all areas, then Alpine Clinic is the place for you. Yes, I'm shamelessly plugging these people, but I can't help it. When you've found the one, you want to share it with everyone.

Life for Paige 5

2008-06-26T21:54:00.000-07:00

I AM going to get a picture of this and when I do I will post it and you will all agree at how pathetic her little life can be sometimes. Recently every time, and I do mean every time, Jack and Paige go into the backyard the following scenario unfolds:

I hear the sound of the hose turning on. I open the window and yell at Jack to turn the dang thing off! By the time I get to the side door to really make my point, Paige is already standing there with the most pathetic look on her face -- SOAKING WET! The poor girl gets completely drenched by her brother every stinkin' day! Not ever having a big brother I can't relate to what she is experiencing, but I guess (I hope) these experiences will just make her a stronger person. Poor girl!

Re"cooper"ating (Finally)

2008-06-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

Monday, June 2, little Cooper Joe made his way into this world. The short version is: after 4 hours of laboring, mostly in the tub in my room, he was born at 11:54 p.m. weighing in at 8 lbs. 8 oz. and was 22 inches long. I was surrounded by my husband, who caught the baby, my Mom switching between holding my hand and putting cold rags on my face, my sister who ended up holding my hand, and my daughter who cut the cord. Not to mention the midwives of course. It was beautiful. It was a community.

The long version is:

Each of my babies seems to think that earth time is the same as eternal time; meaning, there is no "time." Well, I'm here on earth and I live by a schedule. My due date, Friday May 30, came and went without any fanfare and I tried to be patient. I really tried. By Monday, however, it was time to introduce Cooper to the reality called "earth time." My kids were going out of town and my midwife was also, so it was time to take matters into my own hands.

I called Suzanne Smith (of Better Birth LLC), my midwife, and went to her office for a little swishing and swirling of the membranes. It's not the most comfortable experience, but it only lasts a minute and it's usually enough to get me going. This time was no exception. I headed home and relaxed with my kids for awhile with surges coming about every 10 to 20 minutes. Bret headed home from work and began getting everything "prepped." He rearranged our room to make more space for the tub and people. He made food. He cleaned all the pots and pans because I normally need more hot water for the tub and he heats water on the stove.

Finally, around 7:00 p.m. things began to pick up. The surges were getting stronger and a little closer together. I had the girls rub some essential oils on my shoulders and neck and tickle my back for a while. They were great labor support!

At 8:00 we called Suzanne to have her come and made sure everyone else was in their places. My Mom and my sister were there as well as two other midwives. It got really hot in my room due to all the water being boiled and everyone was sweating (except for me) and kept taking turn leaving the room to cool off. The baby was posterior for most of my labor (he was turned so his face was facing my spine) so my back hurt SOOOO bad. Bret had to keep pressure on my lower back for a long time just so I could get any kind of relief. I rocked on my hands and knees trying to get the baby to turn and pleaded with him, in a nice, motherly way, to please turn. Eventually, he did and I felt much better.

Around 11:00 p.m. the girls decided they were too tired to wait any longer so they headed off to bed with instructions to wake them once the baby was born. I was barely at 8 centimeters but I decided to have Suzanne break my bag of water in order to speed things up. For me, once my bag breaks, the baby usually comes right out. This time was no exception. As soon as my water was broken transition surges immediately commenced. There is sure a difference in intensity between active labor and transition. Wow! I tried to stay as relaxed and focused as possible, but it was hard to remain calm knowing my baby was almost here and this was almost over! About two minutes later, I felt the need to start bearing down and got on my hands and knees (the position I've been in the last three deliveries). I could feel the baby moving down and could tell his head was crowning. Bret and Camille (one of the other midwives) got ready and, as I was holding my sister's hand, I let his head come out. Relief point number 1. About 30 seconds later, I felt another surge and I delivered the rest of his beautiful little body. There is such an unbelievable amount of relief and euphoria at that moment it's indescribable. In fact, I was so relieved I just laid my head down on the side of the tub and forgot, for a split second, I even had a baby! That was until I head, "Alisha! Get your baby!" They were passing him under my legs so I could hold him!

His right hand had been up by his face during delivery so he kept there on his little face. He was so beautiful and healthy and squishy and lovely! He just sat there with me in the water cuddling and was so calm. Everyone ooohed and ahhhed over him (of course)! My oldest daughter had come back in just before he was delivered so she, once again, cut his cord and proceeded to help with checking him over. My second daughter also woke up and was able to see her new brother just minutes after he was born.

It was such a beautiful, earthy, and spiritual experience. The veil was parted and a new life made its way into the world. During those last moments I always, literally, feel myself move out of the way to make a path for this new person. The baby, who is really a billion-year-old spirit, and I work together, intensely, those last few moments to bring this miracle to pass.

Bret was incredible -- again. He was totally involved the entire time. When I asked for something he did whatever needed to be done immediately. Even though it was an oven in my room, he did not complain and he stayed incredibly calm. We worked together so well this time. I just love him and I love having these experiences with him. I love birthing our baby into his waiting arms.

My Mom was also great this time! Last time she was more of an observer, but this time she was an active participant. She got water ready, let me squeeze the heck out of her hand, and held an icy cloth on my forehead for as long as I needed her to. She seemed to know just when to help and when to back away. It was really neat to have her as involved this time.

Of course I have to acknowledge my daughters -- especially my oldest who is probably a midwife in training -- for their ability to be mature beyond their years in these moments. They know how to be quiet and do what needs to be done when things are asked of them. I can't imagine what it would be like to watch your mother delivering a baby at the ages of 8 and 10, but I'm sure glad I am able to share it with them.

Lastly, I'm really glad my sister was able to be there. It was another "women" moment and, at the end, I was holding her hand as I was delivering ( I didn't know my Mom's hand had been replaced by her hand). Everybody needs a sister like mine.

Now, two weeks after, I look back and shake my head in wonder and fascination at what occurred right here in my little house. A miracle. A beautiful miracle. I thank God for the opportunity to be a mother and am so grateful for the healthy pregnancies, straightforward deliveries, and six healthy, incredible children. I am truly blessed.

Follow the Prophet

2008-04-05T18:36:00.000-07:00

Today the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints sustained a new Prophet -- Thomas S. Monson. We haven't had a change like this in over ten years and it is taking me awhile to grow accustomed to the new faces of the First Presidency. Someone once pointed out that the nice thing about having 12 Apostles is that you can generally find at least one with whom your personality jives. It's interesting to ask people who they like to listen to in General Conference and see the wide variety of answers. Everyone seems to have one or two favorites and then they have those who, when they come to the pulpit to speak, use that time to get a snack or take a quick nap. Well, for me, and I hope I don't get struck down for this, President Monson was one who, when he approached the pulpit, I picked up something to read, or took the time to do something else. The man seemed to know every widow in the church and felt compelled to tell a story about "Bernice" every time he spoke! I don't have anything against widows, but after twenty years of stories sometimes a person just can't hear anymore.

Well, now he is the Prophet. I did my own inquiring of the Lord and feel just fine about raising my hand in support of him as Prophet, Seer and Revelator. I will support his actions and directives as Prophet. I also feel like it's okay that I might not like every story he tells, or the poems he recites or even the way he presents his talks. With 6 billion people on the earth, I think the Lord understands about personality conflicts and doesn't expect us to all be best friends. He does, however, expect me to understand that, for a while, Thomas S. Monson is His mouthpiece upon the earth and I am to act accordingly. I can do that. Who knows, maybe I'll end up absolutely loving widow stories and we'll all be reciting poetry before long. Amazing things can happen when the Lord is in charge.

What a Wonderful World

2008-03-31T13:21:00.000-07:00

In our age of doom and gloom and everyone prophesying the "end of the world," the recently deceased President Hinckley would often refer to the times in which we live as "marvelous" and he would speak about the wonderful technological advances of our day. When I would hear him talk like that I would sometimes roll my eyes and wonder if he really knew what life was like down in the trenches? However, I have recently been thinking about a subject near and dear to me -- childbirth -- and have been realizing what an amazing time we live in and how glad I am to be delivering children now as opposed to any other time in history.

Most of you know I now deliver my babies at home and I have had wonderful experiences with that. However, due to some outside circumstances, I may end up delivering at the hospital this time. When I explained this to my oldest daughter she started crying and said, "Who in their right mind would have a baby in the hospital?" It was then that I had my moment of perspective as I tried to explain complicated "grown up" things to a developing mind.

I told her how wonderful it is to live in a time with so many choices. I can have a baby at home, in the hospital, a birthing center, etc... I can have an epidural or not. I can have a c-section if needed instead of dying or having my baby die. The important thing is to have a healthy baby and a healthy Mom! It's wonderful that God has given us so many ways to go about this and has, for the most part, left it to us to decide the experience WE want to have.

My only "thing" is that I hope women take a few moments to realize just what their options are and to get educated about their childbirth experience. It wasn't until my third pregnancy that I even learned about how the uterus works and all the muscles involved with labor and delivery. Just understanding that helped me have a much better delivery.

Even though the world may be "ending", when it comes to childbirth, the 21st century is definitely the century in which to live.

The Perils of Living With Four Sisters

2008-03-02T17:52:00.000-08:00

Recently B took J to a shooting range. After looking at all the guns, J exclaimed that he really wanted a gun. I'm sure B couldn't have been prouder. However, after looking all the guns over, J couldn't find one he liked because he wanted a PINK gun! My poor husband had a vision of his son, out on the deer hunt with the "men", pulling out his pink gun in order to make his kill.

I Love a Parade!

2008-02-01T19:55:00.000-08:00

Going to the grocery store is quite an event for me and my family. We now have to use THREE carts just to manage the little bodies and have a place for the food! Paige sits in one cart, pushed by Addison. Jack sits in another cart, which has to hold the coats, purses, etc... because if we put food in his cart he opens anything he can get his little hands on (little piggy reference). He is pushed by me. Sydney sits in another cart, pushed by Avery because she still gets tired by the time we've walked every aisle in the store. We create a lot of roadblocks and traffic jams just trying to get through the store.

We usually get a lot of looks and occasionally a few comments. Here's a sampling of a few we've received recently:

While standing at the deli counter, out of the corner of my eye I notice a man taking the situation in. He says, "Man! You have A LOT of kids!" I reply that he is right and that I have another on the way. "Wow!" he says, "How come you're not totally crazy? I would be!" I ask him how he knows I'm NOT crazy? He just laughs at that and we go on our way.

We pass a man waiting to turn onto the aisle we're going down. He has to wait a long time for the three carts to go by. He says, quite loudly, but smiling, "Hey everybody, it's a parade!"

An elderly lady asks, "Are these all your children?" When I reply that they are she says, "How nice. You don't see big families anymore."

The last comment is the one we receive the most. It makes me feel good because I know that people have to be patient with us as we're passing by, but, hopefully, they'll take a few moments to sit back and watch the show -- it is truly comical. Maybe I should have the kids start throwing out candy!

This Little Piggy....

2008-01-21T16:33:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess I had it coming. After writing about some of my adventures raising a boy, I guess it would be inevitable that I would find out I'm having A BOY! I'm really glad, for Jack's sake, that he will have a brother and it will be fun to have another little guy running around. However, then my silly mind began thinking about all the brother combos throughout history:

Cain and Abel (let's not repeat that)
Jacob and Esau (not the greatest relationship there)
Isaac and Ishamel (can you say 3000 year Mid-East conflict?)
Laman and Lemuel (don't need to say anymore about that)

But then I thought of some others:

Nephi and Sam
Nephi and Lehi -- in 3rd Nephi (powerful prophets)
Joseph and Hyrum (brothers through it all)
Jared and the Brother of (at least my little guy will have a name people can recognize)
The Kennedys (I'm not quite sure how to categorize them actually)

I guess we'll just have to wait and see. In the meantime, I'll be adjusting to swords, guns, and cars in the place of kitchens, dolls and polly pockets.

By the way, Bret is voting for the name "Hank". He thinks it sounds very masculine and like someone you would really like. He also thinks it goes well with Jack. What do you think?

Living With a Baby Pig

2008-01-20T21:48:00.000-08:00

Cute, sweet-looking boy pictured above recently did the following -- in a HOUR:

Sprayed Pam cooking spray all over himself, dumped the rest of the orange juice onto the kitchen floor, and painted himself and my dresser with my eyeshadow and blush!

You might be wondering where his parents were during all this. We were cleaning up and trying to corral him! Bret said a two year-old boy could be compared to a baby pig. Baby pigs look for any opening in the fence and squeeze and squeeze until they can fit through. Little boys will look for and seize upon ANY opportunity which happens to present itself to explore something new. It goes something like this:

Hmmm, let's see what happens if I turn this container over? Interesting, the juice just falls out onto the floor! I really like that color! I think I'll stomp in it with my feet! Hmmm, now let's see what happens if I press this red button? I have no idea what this is, but my hands found it as I was randomly reaching up in order to see if there was anything neat to reach. Interesting, I am now covered with some strange, but fun, greasy stuff. Hmmm, if I climb up these drawers I can find Mom's powder stuff and use it for my latest creation. Interesting, Mom's face is turning red and she thinks I look so neat she is just staring at me without saying anything. I guess I have rendered her speechless. I should do this sort of thing more often!

All I can say is, it's a darn good thing he's cute! God certainly knew what He was doing when he made their little faces so adorable. Otherwise, my son would be living where he belongs -- in the pigpen!

Whaddya Know!

2008-01-06T18:45:00.000-08:00

I had chest cold which eventually turned into an annoying cough I just couldn't get rid of! My Mom suggested I rub Vicks Vapor Rub on the soles of my feet and cover with socks just before I went to sleep. I was skeptical of it, but I love the smell of Vicks and, as I am pregnant and unable to take cold medication, I decided it was worth a try.

It WORKED!!!!!! It was AWESOME!! The first time I tried it, my cough improved 50% and I was able to sleep much better. The next night I applied it again and by the next day my cough was GONE!!!

I checked it out with Snopes and while it has been heard of, no one can describe the chemical reasons why it works. If anyone knows, please let me know. But for now, if any of you have a cough, I suggest rubbing some vicks on your feet and letting it go to work.

Review of The Golden Compass (book)

2007-12-31T12:44:00.000-08:00

Although I received the same email every other Christian received about how just looking at the cover of The Golden Compass might burn your kids' eyeballs out of their sockets, I decided to walk a short way into Satan's lair and actually read the book in order to form my own opinion. The fact that I'm halfway through book two should either tell you how much I'm enjoying it or how much closer I now am to the Dark Side of the Force.

In my opinion the book explores ideas and thoughts in a very non-threatening way. While the author may claim to be atheist, after reading his book, I find that very difficult to believe. He may have decided he wants no part of organized religion and/or the religion he was taught, but the book is way too spiritual and philosophical for him not be spiritual himself. The book wonders, among other things, if there might be other worlds (ie The Spirit World) nearby with which we might sometimes have contact? Does anybody object to thinking about that?

The main character, Lyra, is a good young heroine for today. I like her much better than Harry Potter because she is brave and doesn't spend any time feeling sorry for herself or her circumstances. She accepts her destiny and moves forward with a purpose. She is humble enough to recognize when she makes mistakes and learns from them.

In book two the author negatively describes The Church and then states that ,"...all churches are the same way." Being an Oxford graduate I would like to know how carefully he chose his words? I could agree with his statement in that I think many "philosophies of men" have been "mingled with scripture" throughout even our church -- on the local level. We know of strange teachings sometimes being taught in Sunday School, primary classes, or even over the pulpit. In that regard sometimes "all churches" can be destructive to the developing spirit. On the other hand, I don't agree that all "religions" are destructive and that is where I would like more information from the author. The Gospel is good news and when a person has a clear understanding of who God is and what His plan is for the individual you can't help but want to follow Him.

All that being said, I don't have any objection to these books -- thus far. I'm really enjoying the quality of writing, the new and inventive ideas and the thoughts they are provoking. I would highly recommend reading them. I will post another review at the end of the third book to see how or if my opinion has changed.

The Cockroach

2007-12-30T10:39:00.000-08:00

When I was on my mission in California, our apartment was so overrun with cockroaches that we just learned to live with them. We tried everything to kill them and they wouldn't go away. Every time we would turn on the light in the kitchen we would see a scattering of cockroaches to their respective hiding places. Some became pretty brash and would stay out knowing that we probably couldn't do anything about it. Well, I am having a similar problem with a different kind of cockroach. So, if any of you have had experience with the following, please let me know because I need some practical advice:

A guy I will call Mr. Cockroach keeps showing up in my life. We went on a few dates almost TWENTY years ago, and I can't seem to shake him loose. It only took a couple of dates for me to realize how totally not interested I was and that I would be moving on. I remained friends with him because 1) I was young and stupid and 2) we worked at the same place for a couple of years and I thought it would be mature of me if I didn't go around telling people what a weirdo Mr. Cockroach was. Looking back, I should have. Maybe it would've gotten rid of him. Probably not.

I have tried nicely requesting he stay out of my life. I have tried being extremely blunt, telling him I wanted absolutely nothing more to do with him. I have tried allowing my boyfriends and/or husband to talk to him and tell him to stay out of my life. Nevertheless, he keeps showing up!!! The last time he called, Bret told him we didn't want anymore communication from him -- ever. But, Mr. Cockroach doesn't seem to get it because he sent me a freakin' Christmas card!!! The guy is in Colombia working for the DEA. Does it tell you something about the type of people the DEA will hire? Is it too much or too awful to hope for some kind of kidnapping by the drug cartel down there? Even then, I think he would find a way to keep showing up! Damn cockroaches!!!

I hope none of you have had to deal with cockroaches because they are so extremely annoying, but if you have any advice you have would be great!

You Want me to do WHAT?!

2007-12-20T06:28:00.000-08:00

My complaint department has informed me of a few complaints coming in concerning my lack of posts. While these complaints are valid due to my immense popularity as a blogger and prowess as a writer, I must point out that my public persona doesn't always match my private. Of course my public persona always has life together. According to the ladies in my ward, my children are the most well-behaved and most perfect children on the planet. Second, again according to the aforementioned, I am SuperMom because of homeschooling and they're just sure I make all my food from scratch daily, including growing and grinding the wheat myself, sewing my own clothes, all while my children sit quietly for hours reading, writing and expanding their minds in a peaceful and cooperative manner. Wow!

While all of that may be true (in the fantasy world I have created), life is always a little messier, and thus richer, then that. Some of you many people who read this may not know I am pregnant with baby number SIX and that Bret started a new job a few months ago. Between throwing up, taking care of children, and being single Mom because Bret's job required him to give a pound of flesh by working all day and studying all night for a monstrous test, I have been a titch busy. Please refer to my very first post for a reminder and then decrease my "free seconds" by about 100,000 and you'll understand the lack of posts on my blog.

Now that Bret has passed his test (yay, yay, yay) and my throwing up is lessening, I might be able to find a few seconds here and there to get on here. I'm hoping this will appease my fan base. If not, maybe you can come over and grind the wheat while I sit at the computer putting forth my words of wisdom profound thoughts.

You know what? On second thought, thanks for even caring or noticing.

Is The Flu Shot For You?: A Few Facts

2007-10-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

It's flu shot time of the year. When you listen to the media, they almost create panic as they question whether or not there will be adequate vaccines, and when or if the "epidemic" will strike. They urge people to get their shots quickly so we can avoid all the "death and carnage" sure to come this year. After these reports I'm sure people race to get their shot in order to be sure they're covered.

This year the shots are being recommended for everyone regardless of age or health. Usually they're recommended for the very young, very old, people with compromised immune systems and pregnant women, health care workers, etc... Obviously, there are people who truly benefit from the flu shot and for those people, I'm glad it's available.

The thing that irks me is that people just willingly walk into their health department, roll up their sleeves and, in a robot-like state, get their shot. There are things about this vaccine, and others, we should all know, but usually don't. The more information you have the more you can make an informed decision. Let me repeat, I am NOT anti-vaccine, I am pro-education. What follows are a couple of facts concerning vaccines which, I think, are important to know. Then, when and if you decide the flu shot is right for you and your kids, YOU will have made the decision for yourself.

Until recently all vaccines were preserved with thimerosol, which is a derivative of mercury. Starting in 2000 thimerosol was REMOVED from childhood vaccines but it remains in the flu shot and in the RHOGHAM shot (for all you RH negative mothers out there). Recently a study was released conclusively linking mercury poisoning to autism-like behaviors. The study is as follows (it's hard for me to understand, but I include for anyone medical reading this):

Thu Oct 4, 2007 10:46 pm (PST)

Urine Testing Confirms Autism is Mercury Poisoning

A new peer-reviewed scientific/medical case study confirms that many
children with autistic spectrum disorders (ASDs) suffer from mercury
poisoning. The new study, "A Prospective Study of Mercury Toxicity
Biomarkers in Autistic Spectrum Disorders" by Mr. David A. Geier et
al. Mark R. Geier has been published in the most recent issue of the
Journal of Toxicology and Environmental Health, Part A (volume 70,
issue 20, pgs 1723-1730).

This study utilized urinary porphyrin profile analysis (UPPA) to
assess body-burden and physiological effects of mercury in children
diagnosed with ASDs.

Using UPPA, Geier and Geier (2007) examined 71 children diagnosed
with ASDs, 9 neurotypical siblings, and 5 general population
controls. The researchers studied urinary porphyrin patterns using
results reported both by the US Laboratory Corporation of America
(LabCorp) and the French Laboratoire Philippe Auguste.

Their findings demonstrated that:
1. . Only the non-chelated patients diagnosed with ASDs had porphyrin
patterns indicative of clinical mercury toxicity.
2. . Treating ASD diagnosed patients with chelating agents resulted
in lower mercury-specific urinary porphyrins.
3. . The UPPA patterns reported were consistent between the two labs
used.

The results of the present study confirm and extend previous
observations by Nataf et al. (2006) and Geier and Geier (2006) on the
use of UPPA profiling to establish the causal role for mercury in
ASDs. Additionally, the current findings are consistent with those
observed by many other physicians who treat patients diagnosed with
both ASDs and mercury toxicity.

Thus, urinary porphyrin profile testing is being successfully used to:
1. . Demonstrate the role of mercury in ASD populations,
2. . Identify those children and adults who are mercury poisoned, and
3. . Track mercury excretion from affected children undergoing
treatment.

For the past several years there has been a raging controversy as to
whether or not mercury in medicines, especially in vaccines, has
caused a dramatic rise in the rate of children diagnosed with an ASD.
Many experts have insisted ASDs are caused by some yet-to-be-
identifie d genetic cause.

A paper recently published in Nature Genetics described the results of
multi-million- dollar genetics study (which studied a thousand-plus
families with at least two children diagnosed with an ASD using in-
depth genetic screening). Tellingly, the authors reported, "None of
our linkage results can be interpreted as 'statistically
significant' ."(The Autism Genome Project Consortium 2007).

With the current study's results, public health officials should now
publicly admit what they have been saying in their private
transcripts and memos: Mercury from Thimerosal-containi

ng vaccines
and other medicines has been a major cause of ASD cases, which, based
on recent CDC estimates (CDC 2007), may, when corrected for under
ascertainment, exceed a rate of one in 100 children.

Today, any parent, physician, or healthcare provider can easily
confirm whether a non-chelated child with an ASD diagnosis is mercury
poisoned by having UPPA testing run at either laboratory.

CoMeD's web site,
http://www.Mercury- freeDrugs. org<http://www.mercury-freedrugs.org
contains:
1. . Further information on how to order these tests,
2. . Full copies of the Nataf et al. (2006), Geier and Geier (2006),
& Geier and Geier (2007), and
3. . Some of the many published papers validating the UPPA

Mercury is not easily released from the body and builds up over time. Question: if you begin giving a healthy child flu shots every year from age 5 on, what will happen in their 20's, or 50's? I don't think anyone knows.

In 1999, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) directed vaccine manufacturers to take mercury out of all childhood vaccines. In October 2001, the Institute of Medicine issued a report that said it is “biologically plausible” that mercury-containing vaccines could cause injury to the brain, but there have been too few scientific studies conducted to prove conclusively that mercury in vaccines has caused brain damage. The above study proves it does.

Nevertheless, the Institute of Medicine recommended that drug companies take all mercury out of all vaccines and over-the-counter drugs. In compliance with this recommendation, a preservative-free vaccine with only a trace amount of thimerosal formulated for children aged 6 to 35 months is available in a limited amount. It is distinguished by a pink syringe plunger rod in the pre-filled syringe. All adult formulations still contain thimerosal.

My advice to anyone receiving the flu shot: Demand the pink syringe and avoid thimerosol if you can. I know this has been lengthy, but I hope it is helpful. If nothing else, I hope you feel as I do, more empowered over my own life and the lives of my children.

Part of the "Relief" Effort

2007-10-04T21:54:00.001-07:00

If you missed the General Relief Society meeting Saturday I highly encourage you to click on the link and watch it. It was the best one in a long time! Each talk was thoughtful, articulate, and empowering. Even President Monson gave a good talk. He isn't usually my favorite ( I was hoping for Bednar), but he only mentioned one widow and it was appropriate for the context.
I have included one of my favorite quotes from Sister Beck's talk and I hope it will encourage you to read more. It made me proud and excited to be part of such a great and potentially powerful organization. We are more than glass grapes!

"My dear sisters, our prophet, whom I sustain with all my heart, has said that there is a better way than the way of the world. He has called upon the women of the Church to stand together for righteousness. He has said that if we are united and speak with one voice, our strength will be incalculable. I have expressed to him my confidence that the women of this Church will stand strong and immovable in our faith in Jesus Christ and His restored gospel; strong and immovable in upholding, nourishing, and protecting our families; and strong and immovable in providing relief. May the Lord bless us as we do this most essential work of women is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Jung Would Be Proud

2007-10-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

My oldest daughter and I were in the kitchen the other night winding down for the evening. She was getting ready for bed and I was trying to straighten up and hold the baby. At about 9:30 my brain and body just want to sit down and be done. However, I turned around and noticed a pretty sizable mess on the kitchen table, half of which had been created by my daughter. I sighed an audible sigh and proceeded to walk towards the table to clean it. Then I said, "Sweetie, will you... Oh, never mind I'll just do it." As I start cleaning up she says, "Mom, that is nothing but manipulation! I hate it when you ask us to do something and then say that you'll just do it! It makes us want to just hurry over and do it, but it makes me mad!"

I turned around, picked my jaw up off the floor, and just as I was going to defend myself, realized she was absolutely right and I admitted to it. She then requested that if I wanted something done would I please just ask. We continued to have a great conversation and I thanked her for bringing that to my attention.

I was stunned! First of all, what 9 year-old uses the word "manipulation" and actually knows what it means! Secondly, I was impressed she had the intestinal fortitude to point out my behavior. It sort of made me want to say, "Okay, Avery, tomorrow you're going to school and you will become a 9 year-old like every other 9 year-old instead of a twenty-something in a 9 year-old body.

I felt better when, five minutes later she said, "Mom, will you sing me an extra song tonight and tuck me in?" I can only imagine what the next few years will bring!

Who Is Your Hero?

2007-09-24T23:05:00.001-07:00

Heroes began a new season tonight. (Thanks to my Mom for getting me to watch the first season!) Of course I have to analyze everything and so I have to wonder what the main draw of this show is? Is it that we all have a desire to be a hero -- someone outstanding and noticed? Or is it that we wish a hero would come to our rescue and save us from ourselves and the choices we're making? Maybe it's a combination of both. Maybe people feel like our world is teetering on the edge of "crazy" and it feels safe to watch a show where people have to deal with the problem of "flying" instead of the problem of loneliness or addiction, etc... Or maybe it's just plain old fashioned fun. Whatever it is I like it and I'm betting they can change the world!

Tagged

2007-09-24T20:19:00.000-07:00

Recently Krissie "tagged" me. Being somewhat new to the Blogger world I had no idea what that meant until she explained it to Avery and I discreetly overheard (of course I had to appear like I knew exactly what it meant). I can't remember everything I'm supposed to write about, but I know I'm supposed to write about what I was doing 10 years ago. It's amazing to think about it really.

Ten years ago I was nervously expecting my first child. Bret was in the Army and we had just moved to Fort Drum, New York. I was desperately trying to finish my degree, at BYU, before the arrival of the baby knowing it would be extremely difficult afterward. However, at the time of my pregnancy I was planning on staying home with my baby for the prescribed year and then returning to work. From the studies I had been reading on infant brain development, early peer interaction seemed to have positive effects on a child's social development. Daycare was in our future.

Looking back I don't know how Bret listened to me pontificate about all the perceived benefits our child would receive from daycare. He says he just hoped something would change, but that he was willing to support me if I really wanted/needed to work. Wow.

I had no idea the change that would occur almost the instant I held that baby in my arms. I guess you could call it biological, but it was more then that. I looked into the eyes of this brand new little baby and realized what I was being asked to do. I was being asked to give shelter and guidance to another of God's children for the duration of her earth life. So many of her perceptions of life and people would come from her experiences with me and the things I would teach her. I looked into her eyes and came to three conclusions: 1) I would never, willingly, go to work outside my home as long as she was living with me. 2) She would only be living with me for a short time (20 +/- years) and I had better make the most of it. 3) The hospital actually expected me to take this baby home and be in charge of her!

The changes which took place in that hospital room had a lasting effect. I have not had to go to work (thankfully). I still feel like my time is short with each of my children and I try to make the most of the time I have. And, as a result of having to actually care for that baby, and the others who followed, I have grown and matured in unexpected ways. The past 10 years have been incredible and I am truly blessed.

Thanks Kris for the opportunity to reflect!

A Trivia Lovers Dream Come True -- Google

2007-08-31T21:59:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me long enough has to endure many sentences which begin with the phrase, "Did you know...?" followed by some piece of random information that my brain just sucks up like a vacuum. As a result, I love to "google." It's so great to be sitting at breakfast and have one of my kids say, "Mom, how long can your fingernails grow?" I look like I am the wisest woman EVER because I quietly excuse myself from the table, dash to the computer, google the question and, voila! the answer effortlessly appears. I return to the table and very nonchalantly answer the question. I love having all this knowledge literally at my fingertips. I think search engines were created by someone like I am for someone like I am.
Some of our recent "googles" have been:

Longest fingernails in the world

Big Bang Theory

Pictures of the Eiffel Tower and the Great Wall of China

The Liberty Bell

Rosa Parks

What have you googled recently? Anything we should check out?

A Well-Oiled Machine?

2007-08-26T05:29:00.000-07:00

For too long we in our wonderfully advanced western society have treated the body much like our cars instead of the incredibly advanced organism it is. And yet, sometimes we treat our cars even better than our poor bodies! Imagine how long our cars would last if we only washed the outside, used gasoline full of unnecessary additives, and acted like the on-board computer was the only thing worth tweaking. I would dare say our cars wouldn't last very long. Obviously, our bodies are much more complex and yet we have lost so much knowledge as to how to properly care for and manage them. Moreover, the sources from which we obtain food are usually questionable and so far removed from anything "healthy" it's ridiculous. Lastly, we are in such a "hurry" (myself included) that we simply don't feel justified in the taking the time to care for our inside as much as our outside. And then we're surprised when our bodies have problems.

I'm just in the beginning stages of my research into the following areas, but I wanted to share some of the things I'm learning. I have sources for all the info and will be happy to share them if wanted.

1. We are using whole wheat improperly. In our rush to become "healthy" everything is now "whole wheat" and "whole grain." What we don't understand is the body has a very difficult time breaking down the outside of wheat in order to get to the good nutrients inside. Most of the "whole wheat" we are eating never gets absorbed properly. Wheat either needs to be soaked, in liquid, overnight, before using, in order to start breaking it down, or it needs to already have started sprouting in order to receive the proper benefits.

2. Our gut has more neurotransmitters than our brain and yet we medicate our brain and continue to fill our gut destructive food. Neurotransmitters are the "feel good" chemicals. When our bodies are in a state of poor digestion we cannot absorb and produce the neurotransmitters needed for proper health. Moreover, when we cannot properly assimilate our food, what makes us think we can properly assimilate our medications? People are constantly having to "adjust" their medication because it's not working right. The reasons could be associated more with the digestive enzyme levels in your gut then the level of medicine. Having proper digestion is a must.

3. Proper digestion comes from producing enough hydrochloric acid and having the right digestive enzymes. Unfortunately most of us eat way too fast or huge amounts or way too spread out. All of this effects our hydrochloric acid production. Most digestion begins in the mouth. The simple act of chewing our food slower will aid in the digestive process greatly. Also, chewing our food slower allows our body to "catch up" with what we are doing and send signals of feeling full to our brain (thus the all important and incredibly neglected mind-body connection).

Because we live in a "pasteurized" world, most of our food lacks essential digestive enzymes. Digestive enzymes our found in "raw" food such as milk, honey, butter, yogurt, and others. When we lack digestive enzymes our food cannot be properly broken down and used. In fact there is cutting-edge research on autism and adhd which suggests that these children have suffered from a lack of digestive enzymes from the beginning and then antibiotics and vaccines have almost "traumatized" their little systems. Adding enzymes into their diet is helping tremendously.

Obviously we have pasteurized food for a reason and it's not practical for us to have our own cows on our .10 acres of property. Lacto-fermented foods such as kefir, sauerkraut, and natural yogurt, are good sources of food with the enzymes put back in. In fact, I am just beginning to discover how great kefir really is! It has all the digestive enzymes. It's a complete protein. It has all the B vitamins AND is has TRYPTOPHAN! Tryptophan is found in breast milk and turkey (it's what makes babies relax and people feel sleepy after thanksgiving). Scientists are just beginning to understand the huge benefits of tryptophan on the digestive and nervous systems. I would highly suggest incorporating some kefir into your diet. It tastes a lot like yogurt and comes in a few flavors. My kids will drink it and prefer it over their "vitamin" which probably isn't being absorbed right anyway.

There is a lot more I'm learning and I'll share as I gain more knowledge. Just wait until I talk about coconut oil and what it can do!

Wake Up and Smell the Gunpowder

2007-08-17T23:48:00.000-07:00

On the news recently I watched a story about how one of this year's "must have" school accessories is a BULLET-PROOF backpack! Are you kidding me? Not only could I not believe what I was seeing, but I was absolutely taken aback by the number of people buying these things for their kids! Hello!!! If you have to send your child to a place where you feel they need a bullet-proof ANYTHING is it not time to rethink just where you are sending your child?

I know that many people, unfortunately, do not have a choice as to where they send their kids to school due to economic or other life circumstances. And, I believe that any education is better then no education. For those people I guess I'm glad they can purchase a product that may possibly save their kid's life as he is crouching in a corner fending off shooters with his pack. Terrific. Urban warfare 101. To the people who do have a choice, it's time to actually take five minutes to think about the implications of what is happening here. Either place your child somewhere else or get really involved with your local school and/or legislature and try and bring about the changes necessary so that you don't feel you have to send your kid to school with her own uzi in order to defend herself! Wake up!

...alright...I'll get down now.

Annual Homeschool Renewal

2007-07-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

Practically the second your baby is born you are required to make major, life-altering decisions for your child starting with their name and continuing with almost every aspect of their lives -- where they'll live, what religion they'll participate in, etc... At age five you have to think about school. Private? Public? Charter? Homeschool? All these options have pros and cons and you have to make a decision based upon your values, the needs of your child, and the future you hope to bring about by making the decision you do. It's exhausting!

Each summer as I start receiving the "back to school" ads in the paper I begin questioning the decision to homeschool. I wonder if it's truly working? Do the kids like it? Am I doing this out of a need to control every aspect of my kids' lives or is it for more altruistic reasons? These questions play over and over as the new school year approaches and I have to fill out my affidavit for the state declaring my intentions.

July 24 those questions, and more, were shouting loudly in my head and I needed some answers before I could proceed. That night we went to my in-laws for our annual July 24th celebration and I struck up a conversation with one of my sisters-in-law about, what else, school. Her son is five and I asked her if she had decided which school option (they were considering private or charter) she had chosen? She gave me a funny look and proceeded to tell me she had decided to HOMESCHOOL! My jaw dropped. This was a girl who, while listening politely as I would talk about homeschool, said she would "never do it" and that "it wasn't for her." I was stunned but I tried to maintain a look of calm on my face so I wouldn't frighten her away. When I asked why, again very nonchalantly, she said she had attended her son's kindergarten orientation and, after listening to the presentation, knew she could not send her son to school. She then listed off all the reasons I usually give for why I homeschool reminding me why I made my decision in the first place and, once again, confirming my reasons.

Obviously nobody knows what the future holds, but I am, once more, certain of my path which, at least until next summer, is homeschooling. Thank you universe.

Just Potter the Crowd

2007-07-20T09:04:00.001-07:00

Let's see I homeschool, have my babies in my bedroom, don't scrapbook, and generally go contrary to what the popular culture seems to be doing. However, the boy wizard is calling once more and I will enthusiastically answer. Yes, I will be at Barnes and Noble this evening, with Avery and Addison, reveling in the pre-release activities. Then, tomorrow, I will stand expectantly at my mailbox (to the embarrassment of my husband) waiting for my pre-ordered copy -- which I ordered in February -- of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows after which I, and the other 3 million people who also ordered theirs, will spend the day finding out if Harry lives or dies.
If you have only judged the Harry Potter stories by the movies, I can see why you would stay away. The movies are terrible. J.K. Rowling, while incorporating facets from many great science fiction and fantasy writers really has created a rich and fun world filled with all sorts of interesting creatures. In a time where the bad guys aren't always as easy to spot as say a dark lord and his "death eaters" it's nice to enter a world where good is good, bad is bad and a wand-wielding boy and his friends are out to fight the fight to the bitter end. Go Harry! I'm with you all the way!

Halfway to 70

2007-07-07T19:29:00.000-07:00

June 29 was my 35th birthday! In some ways I feel older and in other ways I feel much younger. For me, at least right now, age is relative and I'm glad to be where I am and doing what I'm doing. I keep a journal specifically dedicated to my birthdays -- meaning I only write in it once a year. It's fun to turn the page and see what was happening in my life exactly one year ago or five years ago. I'm able to get a quick read on my life. For example, birthday 32 took place in Queens, New York. Sydney was just 10 months old and I thought she was my last baby! It was incredible to turn two more pages and find two more babies!!

This year I spent my birthday in Eden, Utah (never been there before) watching Avery play soccer. It was hot! Addison and Sydney and Jack ran around making new friends, getting sticky and being indulged by everyone around us. Paige was Paige and she spent the day doing what she does -- whatever that is. When a few people discovered it was my birthday they asked me what I was going to do to celebrate? I responded by telling them that I was sure a cake would show up at some point, and that my family would make it a party. Maybe I've turned some sort of corner, but at the ripe ole' age of 35 I was quite content to be sitting at the field spending time with people I love. I realize that when I'm older I'm going to have plenty of birthdays where I can spend the day at the spa or take a trip or whatever, but, how many birthdays will I have where I can just watch my little kids be little? I know when I am 70 I will read back through my birthday journal and cherish the birthdays I am having now. Why rush things?! I'll be 70 soon enough. Heck, I'm halfway there!

Information Vacuum

2007-06-20T14:17:00.000-07:00

Galileo invented the telescope and was heretical...how are we going to solve the immigration problem...organizationally speaking, what is working in my kitchen and what's not...Sydney's brain needs a challenge, what should I do...men need to be in the wilderness in order to connect with their souls...archimedes died working out a math problem...I love to get swept away with Gabriel and Rachel (archangel fans will recognize the reference)...we really need to consider Pakistan more of a problem than Iran...fathers play a much bigger role in the development of their children than I ever realized...slavery was terrible...having a schedule is more difficult in the summer...coconut oil has amazing health benefits...wheat needs to be soaked before it can be used properly...I think I could make a cute picnic blanket...

I'm usually a constant reader, but lately my appetite has been voracious. The problem is I am reading, reading, reading, but not having a lot of time to process and ponder. All the above are swimming around in my head trying to find where they fit and wondering if they fit with each other. In the meantime, I can't seem to just pick one and focus because I can't seem to get enough of anything! For this reason I haven't blogged lately because everytime I sit down to write, it comes out like the above. This is my brain in suction mode.

The Path to Whirled Peas

2007-06-04T21:56:00.001-07:00

Have you seen cuter girls? Last Sunday one of Bret's co-workers came to dinner. He brought his 4 year-old daughter, Daniela, who hardly spoke a word of English. Naturally, all the girls were curious about her and tried out their limited Spanish. Mostly, they just looked at each other and shared warm smiles. After dinner I explained to Daniela where to find some toys and encouraged Sydney to invite her to play. Then I left the scene to see what would take place. Approximately 10 minutes later little girls' giggles could be heard and Daniela came running excitedly upstairs to tell her Dad what kinds of toys she had discovered! The girls had found their way. A few minutes later they were sitting on the couch "shopping" with their food -- smiling and laughing. I don't know how much literal communication was going on, but it didn't even matter. Communication of the heart had taken place.

Children have so much natural wisdom when it comes to relationships. They love openly and generously without fear of rejection or differences. When do we forget these lessons? Should we send children to the UN instead of adults? What kind of results would we see? God sends us children to remind us of what could be. I know it's naive to break our complex and complicated world into such simple terms, but is it really? It was such a beautiful thing to watch these two little girls find ways to connect and to see their joy. As Daniela was leaving (by then she didn't want to go) Sydney yelled, "Bye Daniela! I'm going to invite you to my birthday party!" Daniela smiled back and, in that afternoon, we had achieved world peace.

Why I'll Vote for Romney Despite Chadder's Restaurant

2007-06-01T06:25:00.001-07:00

We Mormons are such funny people. We like to use "peculiar" but sometimes we're just plain funny. There exists an incredible herd mentality among us. We like to think of it as "one heart and one mind" but in most instances, in our state of imperfection, it's nothing more than herd mentality. Take the excitement over a new restaurant in town called Chadder's. It's basically In-n-Out Burger with a different name. That's right, it's a burger joint. Now, I really like In-n-Out Burger and will probably go to Chadder's -- someday. Apparently every other Utahn feels like they just have to go to Chadder's RIGHT NOW and are willing to wait in a 20-car line at the drive-thru just to have a burger. It's a compulsion and I can't blame them. It takes everything I have not to get in my car, drive 40 minutes and wait another 60 minutes-- at least-- to get that juicy burger. Moo.
It's for the above reason I'm somewhat frustrated to be living in Utah during the upcoming Presidential election. I would love nothing more than to wear Romney t-shirts and go door-to-door campaigning for this guy. He has my vote and it's NOT just because he is Mormon! I have a brain and have been doing my research and I believe, out of the candidates so far, he is the one for the job. He has the experience, the drive and the qualities I want in a President. Being in Utah and saying I'm voting for Romney is like saying, "See you at Chadder's!" I get a knowing nod of the head and I swear I hear mooing in the background. Oh well, in Romney's case I'm willing to be one of the herd.

Are You a Heretic?

2007-05-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

When Galileo invented the telescope and proved that the earth actually revolved around the sun instead of the opposite his invention was decried as Satanic. People thought the sun went around the earth because of a battle in the Old Testament in which the Israelites prevailed because the prophet commanded the "...Heavens to be still." The sun never went down and the battle was won. Thus, the conclusion was made that the sun went around the earth. Galileo was a devout Catholic and had no intention of leading people astray. He had to beg people to look through his telescope because people thought that the lens must be from Satan and wouldn't even go near the telescope. In 2007 we read the account of Galileo and scoff at those "ignorant people" and wonder how they could be so narrow-minded?

Recently I had a conversation with a well-read and thoughtful woman. When I told her I had used an herb called wormwood to treat intestinal parasites she was appalled! She told me that wormwood was a Satanic herb and that I was lucky I wasn't killed! She referred to its mention in the Bible as her source of information. I could not even begin to convince her otherwise.

I looked up every reference to wormwood in the Bible. Yes, it's there and yes, it's used in reference to punishment from God. However, the Bible Dictionary describes wormwood as a METAPHOR for God's punishment. Wormwood is a nasty herb to taste. It's bitter and not something you would normally eat. God's punishments have definitely proven to be bitter and not something you would seek.

I don't think the Bible was ever meant to be our science book. We have science to help explain the world around us. God, in his wisdom and mercy, gave us the Bible and Book of Mormon to help us know how to properly use that information. Galileo was not a heretic then and I am not a heretic now.

Mother's Day

2007-05-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

Women unite! As the mothers of the world we know firsthand the difficulties faced by our children as they try and make their way. We can do something about it. We can provide good and safe homes for our families or for those children with whom we come in contact. We can spend less time worrying about whether or not we're "as good as men" and spend more time becoming "as good as women" can and should be. We can use our innate talents and gifts to create goodness and refuges. We can fight evil and be warriors in a time when it is most needed. The time for weakness is over. The time for denial is over. Women need to reclaim what we have allowed to be taken -- our dignity and our femininity. So, on this Mother's Day I firmly plant my flag in the ground. I hope it waves for all to see. I am here and I am ready and willing to fight for all that is good. I know God will make up for my limitations and that, with Him, I can contribute -- even if it's just defending my own little plot of ground. You can, too. Happy Mother's Day!

Never Say Never

2007-05-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

I have a daily schedule. I never thought I would have a daily schedule. I never wanted a daily schedule. My husband has been telling me for years how much I would like a daily schedule. Of course, if he wanted me to do it, it was definitely out (oh my stupid pride).
Recently my kids have been fighting like crazy and I have been feeling even more stressed out than usual. I, notice the I, decided it was time to try something new. I know, how about a daily schedule! What a novel idea! When I told Bret "my" idea he just smiled and tried not to give me the "I told you so" smile which he knows would just send me running in the other direction.
I made a schedule and we started following it Monday. So far so good. I find I don't have to think so much about what we're going to do next. As a homeschooling Mom, it's nice to know where we're going without having to come up with a new plan every day. I think, until I had five children, it was easier to wing things because the chaos was at a 2 instead of a 9.5. Now it's sink or swim. I've always loved the water and am ready to swim. So, I'm ready to fall in with those who have touted the almighty schedule for years. Stephen Covey has a new fan. Never say never because you don't know how the universe will conspire against you.

Guantanamo Shmantanamo

2007-05-04T20:17:00.000-07:00

Peck...People who need to find humane yet effective interrogation techniques should take some lessons from kids. Peck...peck... All you would need to do is put one of these terrorists in a confined space with five children...peck... and they're bound to break! If you've ever seen a video of baby birds with their mouths wide open...peck... constantly squawking for Mom, then you get the picture. It's constant pecking. It's not physically painful...peck peck..., but it doesn't stop. Even when you're in the...peck... bathroom, the one place you would expect some privacy, people are pecking at the door...peck... You really find out how much you love your children when, after a day of ...peck... constant pecking, not only are they still alive, but they receive kisses goodnight. Your peck in return. They go to bed with smiles on their faces, and you walk out of the room with a...peck...smile on yours, both parties knowing that in less than ...peck...10 hours the iron will of The Mother is ...peck peck... tested again. Guantanamo Bay aint got nothin' on me!

Nose Balloons

2007-04-27T21:39:00.000-07:00

So my 6 year-old finds a condom in my nightstand. She opens the package and brings it to me to question me about it. The conversation went something like this:

What's this Mom?

(pause...pause...pause...In a speed faster than light, my brain thinks of every possible answer and still can't come up with anything good. Do I tell her the truth? It's one of those moments I have never considered and have no idea what to do.) She fills in the stunned silence with...

Oh, I know, you use it for snoring. You put it on your nose and it stops you from snoring! Right?

Before I can say anything, the girl puts it on her nose and presses it tightly. As she does she blows some air out of her nose. The thing blows up like a balloon. I start laughing hysterically. Her eyes get wide and she says...

Cool! Nose balloons! These aren't for snoring! Can I have one? Where do you get them?

She proceeds to blow it up over and over and then, gleefully, skips out of the room, nose balloon in tow, to go show her sisters. Meanwhile, I'm still laughing -- partly because it's funny and partly out of nervousness. What will she say the day she discovers that her beloved nose balloons are something quite different?

21st Century Woman

2007-04-27T21:06:00.000-07:00

This will most likely be an ongoing column as I'm trying to discover exactly what a 21st Century Woman is. I recently read an article by a woman talking about why she thinks women feel unfulfilled in their roles. She came to the conclusion that technology has removed women from the systems which helped define them. For example, our great-grandmothers had to have one day set aside for laundry, one for baking, one for sewing, etc... Their lives revolved around what exactly they needed to do to provide for their families. Moreover, they were the ones "in charge" of those sysems. If clothes weren't sewn, everybody went naked. Thus, according to the author, women felt more fulfilled because they were sure of their roles and their importance.
In our time we have washers and dryers, microwave ovens, grocery stores and Old Navy. Everything comes pre-packaged, pre-washed, and pre-cooked. According to the author this is the source of our angst and we would be happier reverting to simpler times in order to connect with the true nurturer inside.
I've been thinking about this a lot and I disagree. I don't think I have to give up technology in order to find fulfillment as a woman. I don't think I need to sew the clothes and grow the food just to be able to define myself as a woman. I think she missed the point. I think women, and men for that matter, are generally unhappy as a result of feeling a loss of control in their lives. We have a grocery store where we can buy the things they have decided to put there for us. We have no idea where most of our food comes from or the process it went through to get there. We send our children away in order to have them educated by someone else. We buy the clothes that somebody else says we should to be "in" with everybody else. We are constantly bombarded by messages from countless sources telling us what we should buy, where we should vacation, who we should vote for, and what we should watch on tv. What do we do ourselves?
As human beings we have an innate desire to be independent. You see this in children. It is offensive to my three year-old when I offer to help her with something she is trying to do on her own. She lets me know that my help is not only not wanted but even the offer was not appreciated. Somewhere we lose that. We forget to ask questions. We forget that we forget to ask questions. In fact, we become afraid to ask questions. We allow ourselves to float along and wonder why we feel an emptiness.
We don't have to give up our cell phones, we just need to THINK about why we have a cell phone. We need to think about what we put into our bodies. We need to think about who we want our children to become. We need to think and not be afraid to be active participants in our own lives. I believe women can find fulfullment by understanding the choices we have and then actively making those choices and acting upon them.

Diapering Without Foreign Oil

2007-04-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

As if I weren't considered freakish enough, I've decided to try using cloth diapers on my two youngest children! I actually began looking into the possibility of cloth diapering with my son, but didn't really feel the motivation until I had my baby and realized just how much it costs to buy diapers for two kids! I was looking at spending $80 a month just on diapers! I can think of a lot of things I'd rather do with that money than just buying poop repositories. So, I invested in cloth.
Cloth diapers in the 21st century are not our mother's cloth diapers. There aren't any pins and many of them come in really cute fabrics and have velcro and snaps. In fact, I was overwhelmed by all the choices available! I searched "cloth diapers" and got back an entirely new vocabulary list I had to learn before I could even think of buying any. I had to learn the difference between pre-fold, fitted, pocket, all-in-one, wraps, and doublers. Once I got that down, I made my first purchase. I went with the conventional pre-fold (these are the ones our moms used) and a wrap to cover it. These are by far the cheapest way to go. This way, if one gets ruined I'm not throwing away a $20 diaper. If anyone needs more info on this just let me know.
Anyway, I've been at it for over a week. At first it was hard to figure out where to put the wet diaper while trying to fold a clean diaper, while trying to hold a wiggly butt. Then I got smart and folded all the diapers so I could just grab one and have it ready to go. I've had to do some "dunking" in the toilet, but that wasn't so bad. In fact, my 6 year-old gave it a go one day and did a great job while managing to keep her hands clean!
The laundering of the diapers is relatively easy and kind of fun. They can't go in the dryer or they lose their absorbency -- due to dryer sheets giving them a waterproof residue. I now have a little clothes line outside and my kids have really gotten a kick out of hanging the diapers up to dry. Also, the sun bleaches the diapers and deodorizes them as well. We'll see just how long my kids like to help with the diapers, but, for now, they argue over who gets to hang them up.
It really was a good feeling to walk through Costco without having to stick 2 giant boxes of diapers in my cart. The diaper money will now be diverted to the DISNEYLAND money! Yay! On top of that, the absorbent part of disposable diapers is made with petroleum so I feel like I'm doing my ( teeny tiny) part to decrease our oil dependency -- not to mention decreasing the number of diapers in our landfills. Also, if some sort of disaster happened I would have diapers. I might not have food, but at least my kids' bums will be clean!
So far I really like using cloth diapers. I'm hoping my son will potty train sooner which would be a real bonus. My poor kids! What will their mother put them through next!?

Numbers Game

2007-04-05T13:47:00.000-07:00

A title? Give me a break! I'm running on THREE hours of sleep and can barely think of my own name let alone a title for my post! As a mother of FIVE I am allotted exactly 3.5 seconds to: get dressed, go to the bathroom, and think about something other than who else needs to get dressed and who else needs to use the bathroom. I change approximately TEN diapers per day and wipe at least ONE bum daily. I brush THREE sets of teeth, make THREE meals, TWO snacks and SIX to EIGHT breast feedings. I break up FOUR arguments and at least ONE major altercation. I receive FIFTEEN hugs and kisses and end up with FOUR chocolate, lip gloss, or other unidentified stains on my shirts and cheeks which I get to spend .05 seconds cleaning off. In a 24 hour period I am Mom for 21 hours and that figure changes at random. Additionally, I have ONE incredible husband who, sometime in those 3.5 seconds manages to divide the craziness of the day and multiplies my happiness. A family of SEVEN! Never in my 34 years did I think I would be part of ONE, but I am and I'm SIX times happier and better for it!